Happy Birthday Priyanka Chopra! Please Stop Spamming Our Newsfeed Now


Happy Birthday Priyanka Chopra! Please Stop Spamming Our Newsfeed Now

Illustration: Shruti Yatam


lmost every wedding in the next year or so has to account for a visitor who shows up while the bride’s uncle is halfway through cleaning melted kulfi off his jacket. I am talking, of course, of the greatest East-meets-West mash-up since Bride and Prejudice, Priyanka Chopra. Chopra who has a habit of showing up at the unlikeliest of places, has seen immense success ever since she moved abroad (someone please tell all of Lokhandwala), and has made India proud more times than the jawans at the border. She’s been invited to the Royal Wedding, where she looked good enough for people to try on her face mask, and has stolen the spotlight at least two Ambani weddings, faster than a tech guy with kleptomania.

If it isn’t her birthday, Priyanka Chopra is in the news because of her bae, Nick Jonas. The duo is known to frequent observers as the “#Prick”. This new species of the “odd couple” family, has entertainment journalists coughing up blood in excitement, and Indian men planning their revenge against the White Man on YouTube. The Prick – or Joyanka, if you prefer Bengali-sounding hashtags – was last seen at the pre-engagement ceremony of one of the Ambani kids. The sighting was enough to create a furore: Priyanka’s flaming red saree was all it took for some to call to announce “Red Alert”. It was the kind of event a country like Rwanda would spend its entire GDP on, and movie stars wouldn’t dare catch themselves “dressed like that” at.