Person of the Week: Melania Trump


Person of the Week: Melania Trump

Illustration: Mandar Mhaskar


n a week where The Donald was sworn in as the President of the Divided States, feminists over the world mobilised and took to the streets to protest against the misogynistic ramifications of the American voter’s collective nervous breakdown, and India celebrated 68 years of copy-pasting Britain’s constitution, the internet displayed its rabid ADHD by focusing on how Melania Trump looked bummed out. Hours after the Real Annoying Orange officially became the Lord Commander of the largest military of the world, people could not help but share videos of him ignoring his wife and the mother of mini-Donald, Melania Trump. So in honour of being the hero that the internet deserves, Melania Trump nee Knauss is our Person of the Week.

#FreeMelania turned into a rally cry for all protesters too lazy to physically join the march. They feverishly tweeted about how underappreciated the new First Lady is, how Trump walked 15 paces in front of her, and how she has a severe case of Stockholm Syndrome, because of which the Muggle version of Dolores Umbridge is holding her hostage. The now iconic GIF where Donald Trump appears to be shutting down her warm smile at his inauguration has already spawned a Kickstarter project titled “Make Melania Smile Again” and a petition to grant her diplomatic immunity from a man who could probably not even locate Slovenia on the map.