Payal Rohatgi’s Mission to Mars


Payal Rohatgi’s Mission to Mars

Illustration: Juergen Dsouza


ASA recently announced that select social media warriors from all over the world would be chosen to go to Mars. The announcement was made on the back of a study that proved that only specimens with an IQ lower than a fish can comfortably survive on the red planet. The first applicant for this programme was Payal Rohatgi of Bigg Boss and Jet Airways fame.

A NASA official, who requested anonymity, said that the selection process was extremely lengthy. First, they shortlisted the applications, according to the number of issues a user was outraged by: The higher the number, the better the chances of that user going to Mars. Analysts who were briefly studying the selection process said that this first step was essential according to Barfi’s Law: The larger number of issues you have an opinion about, the stupider you tend to be (i.e. the lower your IQ tends to be).