In Terror Of The Office Toilet

Humour

In Terror Of The Office Toilet

Illustration: Akshita Monga

T

here are two kinds of people in the world. Those who stride into the office bathroom, and those who hide in it. The former are usually the people who own cubicles, and make it their life’s mission to tell the rest of us what they ate and drank for their last 20 meals. Like that ultra-motivated athlete in every Nike commercial, they just do it. I, on the other hand, stand in a corner, mimicking the body language of a kitchen lizard that has just realised that the lights are switched on.

In case, you haven’t guessed by know, I have serious bathroom anxiety. The clinical term for which is paruresis aka the fear of answering nature’s call in the presence of other people or in a public loo. It makes my everyday trips to the office bathroom feel like the long walk to the other side of the Wall, all the way to the White Walkers.

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