Humans of Bieber

Humour

Humans of Bieber

Illustration: Akshita Monga

J

ustin Bieber’s the Purpose Movement Tour hit India like the first storm hit Bhuvan’s village in Lagaan. Mumbai – and some from far-flung places like Kanpur, Nepal, and Navi Mumbai – breathlessly sang, danced, and celebrated like peasants as the storm thundered in the distance. The storm may have demanded vinegar chips and a dozen white T-shirts, but when it finally came it had all the charisma of a soggy Diwali rocket. And unlike those lucky cricket prodigies in the film, we had to pay teen guna lagaan to get in on it.

It could’ve been his one chance to prove all the haters wrong. Instead, living up to his persona of Spaceman Spliff, Justin started the concert by half-heartedly lip-synching “Where Are You Now”. Justin broke neither his voice nor his character, as he continued to own the cerebral narcissist he is by saying, “What a lovely night it is for me…” It left Beliebers, who had paid upwards of a month’s rent in Bandra or had travelled in from another country, feeling like they were at least entitled to a lovely-ish night themselves.

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