Horrorscopes: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Humour

Horrorscopes: Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Illustration: Cleon Dsouza

Aries
A pulse of quasars causes a disturbance in the cosmic frequencies, which brings your life into disorder. There is going to be a high chance that you will be assigned a futile, unproductive task that you can’t refuse because it comes from the President of the USA. In his own words, “Who can figure out the true meaning of “covfefe”??? Enjoy!”

Taurus
As the stars shone brighter by five lumens yesterday, you will find your ambitions are soaring. After going to the movies to see Sachin’s biopic, you will be inspired to give making the Indian team a second try. The attempt will begin with great promise, and end with a full-toss to the contents of your briefs.

Gemini
A twinkling in the North Star indicates that the world is going to wake up and appreciate how intelligent you are on a variety of topics. If you’re a man, congratulations. But if you’re a woman, go back and delete all “intelligent” posts from social media, lest Paresh Rawal call for you to be dragged in front of a stone-throwing mob.

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