What’s Worse, Offsites or Potlucks? Why Introverts Hate the HR Department

Humour

What’s Worse, Offsites or Potlucks? Why Introverts Hate the HR Department

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

W

ithout the HR department, most offices would quickly begin to resemble the Thunderdome from Mad Max. Employees would forget each other’s birthday, spend less time socialising and more time working, and everybody would eat lunch at their desk. Actually, that sounds less like the Thunderdome and more like Paradise, but that might just be because I’m an introvert, and in the office ecosystem, HR employees are my natural predators.

Most employees look forward to HR activities to get away from Excel Sheets and concalls, but I’d pick balance sheets over birthday celebrations at the workplace any day. The nice folks in the HR department are always striving to make office fun and give us a break from boring routines, but looks like they did not get an important memo: Introverts are never bored. Our brains are overflowing with thoughts very much like a Mumbai local overflowing with people. In such a scenario, emails from HR are like those annoying vendors who insist on squeezing through the crowd and asking you if you want to buy a 15-rupee comb or that bling keychain. Like the vendors’ repeated calls for your attention – Dus ka do, Dus ka do – HR folks normally send two emails back-to-back. The first one always lacks clarity and has at least one spelling mistake. The second one has some vital information missing. And by the time the third email (with FINAL written in the subject line), the introvert’s train of thought is busy making an announcement: “Next station, brain aneurysm.”

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