Horrorscopes: Will It Be a Manic May for You?

Humour

Horrorscopes: Will It Be a Manic May for You?

Illustration: Cleon D'Souza

N

o man may stop the passage of time, nor the infinite tragedies that follow in its wake. As another month begins, we peer into the future for a glimpse of what fate has in store.

Aries: A disturbance in your inner chakras will mean that in addition to our Universe being stacked against you, the Marvel Cinematic Universe will also become an inhospitable place for you. Betrayal is on the cards, as someone you considered a close friend will go see Avengers: Infinity War without you, and proceed to leak the spoilers. The only way to prevent this fate is to make sure you have no friends at all, which shouldn’t be difficult for someone like you.

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