Mumbai Man with Full Petrol Tank on Forbes Richest Indians List

Humour

Mumbai Man with Full Petrol Tank on Forbes Richest Indians List

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

Minutes after filling a full tank of petrol, Abhijit Rane, a Mumbai-based businessman, was included in Forbes India’s Richest Indians Under 40 list. Rane was given the news by a friend, while he was settling the bill at a petrol pump on the Mumbai-Pune Expressway. Many congratulatory messages followed.

“Now that petrol prices are competing with Titanium prices, it’s good news for Mr Rane, and anyone else who can fill a full tank in the Mumbai-Pune region,” a Forbes India spokesperson said. “It means they are now in India’s top 0.1 per cent.”

“I sold two bedrooms of my 3BHK to fill that tank,” Rane said, proudly posing with the latest edition of Forbes. “Next week I plan to sell the third and move into my car.”

There is, however, some bad news for Mr Rane. The income tax department has initiated an immediate assessment of his returns, since he is one of the few unlucky high net-worth individuals left behind in the Micro, Small & Medium Enterprises (MSME) sector post demonetisation and GST.

Until all these innovations play out for a better India, our newly inducted Forbes member, Rane, has stuck a photograph of Mr Modi in his car.

“This is not new. When the price of tomato reached triple digits last year, we did the same. We caught several defaulters,” an IT officer said. “However, as our department has clarified multiple times, we do not harass honest citizens. We only call them to our office a dozen times so they can clarify mundane things like their house address and phone numbers.”

Meanwhile a few media houses are convinced current petrol prices have more positives than just making the government richer. “Do you think at today’s petrol prices, a mob would dare to burn down someone’s house? Innovations like this make new India,” a news anchor declared, despite having cycled to work. “Just wait until we start extracting gutter gas.”

Until all these innovations play out for a better India, our newly inducted Forbes member, Rane, has stuck a photograph of Mr Modi in his car. “Without him, I’d never have become the famous man I am today.”

Some people have all the acche din.

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