The Fearsome Five of An Office Email Thread

Humour

The Fearsome Five of An Office Email Thread

Illustration: Juergen Dsouza

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s a fairly straightforward person, corporate jargon and long email threads are the bane of my existence. For years now, I’ve had to type, “Can I please not be CC’d on this pointless chain of emails?” and fantasised about sending it to everyone on the thread. But because I care about my pending EMIs and career prospects, I am left with no option but to flaccidly press down on the delete key instead. Adding to my hundred-odd pile of unread office emails.

Company-wide email greetings of “Happy Birthday, Pinky!” and “Welcome to the Team, Subodh!” were torturous enough. But the worst emails I receive include the ones from handles I don’t recognise, with a few Excel sheets and absolutely zero fucks from most people on the thread. But who are the active participants on a long email thread?  

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