Movie Hall Aisles and CT Scan Machines: Where Fat People Fear to Tread

Humour

Movie Hall Aisles and CT Scan Machines: Where Fat People Fear to Tread

Illustration: Arati Gujar

T

here’s a reason why fat people like me are never at the pinnacle of human evolution. It’s because we’ve inevitably stopped a few hundred metres short of Mount Darwin to catch our collective breaths. Even as the rest of humanity passes us by while offering a reluctant few words of encouragement and vague advice on cardio and yoga asanas and “strength training is best, bro” that will speed up our snail-paced metabolism. If this metaphorical mountain were an IRL parvat, it’d probably be number one on the list of places fat people fear to tread.

Ever since we discovered that our bodies were built for comfort rather than speed, we’ve drawn out a mental list of places that we choose not to venture into lest we inconvenience our flabby selves or make “normal-sized” folk uncomfortable. Which fat person would want to find themselves stuck like James Franco in 127 Hours – but not in the Grand Canyon, just the aisle of a movie hall? Not me, for sure.

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