Apocalypse Now: How Do We Survive a Post-Facebook World?

Humour

Apocalypse Now: How Do We Survive a Post-Facebook World?

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

I

f there were two words to describe how everyone feels about Facebook right now, it would be angry reacts. After failing to set appropriate privacy settings for its users, many have decided to unfriend the social networking website, as they receive a potential friend request from investigating agencies to look into the mess. I worry about the extreme consequences of this event, for the timeline of my life would be ruined if Facebook had to deactivate its account. I depend on Facebook in the same way the Trump campaign depended on Cambridge Analytica.

I begin my day by checking Facebook, even before I have brushed my teeth. Dental health is secondary to knowing how many likes I got overnight on the “Which Disney Princess is your soulmate?” quiz. I get more turned on by the red number on the notification panel than I get watching the “Ek Do Teen” remake. With no Facebook, how am I supposed to begin my day? Will I have to now concentrate on the actual wall of my washroom while taking a dump? I’d rather just unfriend that day!

READ MORE

Comments