Coming Soon to Lake Como: The Indian Tourist for Selfies at #DeepVeer Love Point


Coming Soon to Lake Como: The Indian Tourist for Selfies at #DeepVeer Love Point

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

After months of speculation over the momentous DeepVeer wedding, including hours spent waiting for the promised release of pictures from their ceremonies, the year’s biggest shaadi is finally done and dusted. As a reward, we have received exactly two official photos, each featuring Ranveer and Deepika being impossibly, perfectly in love, and a smattering of long-range paparazzi shots that look like stills from The Bourne Identity.

And yet, while we now have definitive proof that, in addition to luxe bridal wear and literally any kind of facial hair, Ranveer can also pull off the traditional Konkani mundavalya (forehead ornament), the janata is still no wiser about the details of DeepVeer than we were last week. Did the couple really trek up a mountain to their mandap? Will the Italian staff, who were allegedly trained in Konkani and Hindi, all be hired for the Indian reception? Is Smriti Irani going to be okay?

These questions continue to haunt us. But one thing we can be sure of, is the third glamorous diva at the Ranveer-Deepika wedding. I’m talking, of course, about the legendary Italian beauty: Lake Como.

Forget Iulia Vantur, Warina Hussain, and bechara Aamir Khan. The latest firangi sensation in Bollywood is, without a doubt, Lake Como. Besides making the headlines for being DeepVeer’s chosen destination, Como has also been the star-studded site of Isha Ambani’s engagement to Anand Piramal, hosting everyone from Priyanka-Nick, to SRK and the Anil Kapoor khandaan.

And where Bollywood goes, socialites, C-listers, and the aam Indian will inevitably follow. Sadly, Prince Narula’s union to his Mrs Punjab, Yuvika Chaudhary, already took place in October, so the Bigg Boss lovers will not have a chance to celebrate their love at Lake Como. Still, it’s a matter of time before the well-heeled urbanites who long for a fancy holiday, but have deemed Bali so 2016, will pounce on the unsuspecting lake.

Don’t believe me? Just look at what happened when 3 Idiots hit cinemas nearly 10 years back. At the time, Ladakh was a pristine and beautiful region, full of crystal-clear rivers and vast mountains. Aside from a few nature buffs and some ardent supporters of the Incredible India campaign, few tourists were interested in the sleepy town – that is, until they saw Rancho and Pia reuniting with a kiss on the banks of Pangong Lake.

At this very moment, there are probably DeepVeer fans trying to work this new destination into next year’s Eurotrip itinerary.

Now, that same lake is crowded with the garbage of a thousand idiots, while Pia’s yellow scooter sits on its shores, patiently awaiting the opportunity to give them tetanus as they climb on for selfies. Maggi shacks named after Rancho dot the area, as do Ladakh’s landfill.

Then there is the entire nation of Switzerland, which, thanks to its use and abuse in Bollywood films, expects a million Indian tourists every year, only so that they can pose with life-size cut outs of Shah Rukh and Kajol on Mount Titlis. It doesn’t stop at that. After Zindagi Na Milegi Dobara, there were more Indians at the La Tomatina than tomatoes. Tamasha was enough to ruin the calm and quiet of Corsica and with Harry Met Sejal Budapest became every Gujju’s dream vacation. So why should our approach to Lake Como be any different?

At this very moment, there are probably DeepVeer fans trying to work this new destination into next year’s Eurotrip itinerary. Along with the usual Amsterdam and London, there is the prospect of jumping into the blue waters of Lake Como, eating theplas on the same grass where a lovestruck Ranveer wandered, and strewing our trash around because hum Isha se kam nahi hain.

This time next year, there might not be any plaques proclaiming DeepVeer’s eternal love, or signs commemorating the bond between Isha-Anand (though you can’t rule it out), but that won’t stop us from descending en masse, certain that some of Lake Como’s lingering stardust will rub off on our mediocre selves. So what if you can’t afford a stay at Villa del Balbianello? A SoTC package is all you need to channel your inner Deepikas and Ranveers.

Book your tickets now, before the crowds get there. What are you waiting for?