Mumbaikars Protest Against “Ineffective” Bharat Bandh, Demand Holiday

Humour

Mumbaikars Protest Against “Ineffective” Bharat Bandh, Demand Holiday

Illustration: Robin Chakraborty

M

umbai, September 10: As people across the country began looking up how the Bharat Bandh declared by Congress and supported by Opposition parties would affect the start of their workweek, agitated Mumbaikars took to the streets in a counter-protest. Our sources told us that the one thing that could unite the notoriously indifferent city, was the idea of getting a day off during every bandh. For Mumbaikars, their chuttis are of paramount importance, an even greater priority than that free plate of sukha puri after a serving of pani puri.Though the bandh was called in response to rising fuel prices, angry Mumbaikars chose to drive around in chauffeur-driven cars, hoping to incite the supporters of the bandh into violence so that the day could be declared a holiday.

When asked what he thought about the bandh, an enraged corporate slave thundered, “The whole point of a bandh is to sit at home in your PJs and sip on tea while protesters burn down the city. This is a disgrace to the historic bandhs that we have witnessed over the years. Is this what we pay tax for? What is the government doing?”

Some of the slogans the troublemakers raised were “Awaaz Do Hum Ek Hai, Chutti Do Yeh Break Hai” and “Gaadi Jalao, Chutti Dilao.

Mumbaikars are especially disappointed after seeing the impact of the bandh in the other states. “It looks like Karnataka and Odisha will get a long weekend. Trains have been stopped in Odisha; in Karnataka bus services are hit. In Delhi, Rahul Gandhi’s protest is making news. And here, it seems like a routine Monday. This is not fair to Mumbai,” said yet another angry citizen.  

However, after being served a notice by the Mumbai Police, the city’s leading disruptor, the MNS, is keen to ensure that the protest isn’t marred by violence, like their movie outing to PVR Cinemas a couple of months ago.

Even when the crowd of agitated Mumbaikars began raising inflammatory slogans this morning, the MNS activists chose to remain calm. One of the leaders shared the rationale behind their actions, saying, “It’s easy to have your demands met when you just sit on your ass, after all, Mumbaikars do it daily. So we’re going to stay here until the ruling party agrees to our demands.”

Some of the slogans the troublemakers raised were “Awaaz Do Hum Ek Hai, Chutti Do Yeh Break Hai” and “Gaadi Jalao, Chutti Dilao”. Despite their best efforts, angry Mumbaikars had as much effect on the protesters as bad press does to Salman Khan’s box office collections.

The final nail in the coffin was when a large group of enraged interns, who made up the bulk of the counter-protestors’ strength, decided to bail and grab brunch at a Cater Road eatery. The protest ended with the sound of dozens of people complaining about surges prices for cabs.

Comments