By Niroj Dash Sep. 24, 2018
Two days after the Rafale controversy, hordes of pro-government protesters stormed the streets. Confusing Rafael with Rafale and Hollande with Holland, some have set Nadal effigies on fire, others have cancelled their trip to Amsterdam.
wo days after former French President François Hollande riled the entire country up by claiming that the Indian government had forced Reliance into the Rafale deal, hordes of pro-government activists stormed the streets in protest of the French government.
Since the details of the Rafale deal are as ambiguous as Rahul Gandhi’s plan for 2019, protestors decided that they would raise slogans against the country of France, and announced a boycott on any word that sounds like Hollande. A few splinter groups burnt effigies of 17-time Grand Slam champion Nadal, confusing Rafael with Rafale.
YouTube videos featuring recipes for sauces were the first casualty. Several food vloggers reported that they were targeted by comments from Indian users asking them to dump their Hollandaise recipes in Pakistan, where it belongs. “On a day like today, when the country should be celebrating the launch of Modicare, our opposition is creating this unnecessary controversy,” said user _VivekIsSooSexy, on the video, “You need to make this Hollandaise for your loved one tonight!!”
As soon as Hollande’s statement flashed on his TV screen, Mr Bhupinder Chawla, a protestor/confused bypasser said he looked up the keywords Francois Hollande + denial + misquoted. “It took me to the Republic news site, which said the French also invented the guillotine. So how can we really trust them,” he asked, opening his Google map, and looking for the French Embassy.
In Mumbai, the protestors had gathered around the C’est La Vie restaurant, believing it had a connection with the former French president.
In Mumbai, the protestors had gathered around the C’est La Vie restaurant, believing it had a connection with the former French president. In between a pile of discarded cheese bits and old berets, they raised slogans like, “Boycott the Baguettes”. “Desh ke liye kuch karne ka time aa gaya hai. We will put immense pressure on Hollande to retract his statement before next Republic debate,” Bhupinder said, while downvoting and leaving a scathing review of Hollande’s app on Play Store.
Chawla, who had planned to take his family on holiday to Amsterdam, said. “No more Holland, it’s a bad place, I read in Trip Advisor,” he told his wife. “By the way, why you are using that Coco Chanel perfume? I told you to only use the Anil Armani one I gave you last year,” he continued.
A retired PMO official, who had gone a whole three days without forgetting his own name, also spoke at the protest. “I don’t understand the Congress’s problem. We gave France two options: 1) Pick Reliance, and 2) Don’t pick HAL,” he said. “How can they say we influenced the deal?”