Always Tweet Before You Eat


Always Tweet Before You Eat

Illustration: Shivali Devalkar/ Arré


am in a serious, wholly committed, monogamous relationship with food. So, understandably, I am in a lather of excitement about the news. Apparently scientists are working on ways that we can eat Instagram pictures. It’s the boldest approach yet to solving world hunger – there are so many shots of food online that even if only the really photogenic ones made it (not your recently uploaded ones of the cheese toasties with the ketchup smiley), the calorific needs of seven billion people would be met for the next millennium.

Keep that in mind the next time you get pissed with someone for leaping up to photograph their bowl of cereal. While you are sitting around slack-jawed eating chips, they are doing their bit for humanity. By regularly brandishing their mobile phones over plates of food with the fierceness and intensity of a vampire hunter holding a crucifix, they could be exorcising world hunger. Think about it – by posting online the slowly congealing but still artful “bowl of chocos”, they are not just alleviating the suspense of what they had for breakfast (which you have to admit has been killing all of us,) but they could also have been feeding some hungry as yet unborn orphans at the same time.