Hey McDonald’s, Leave My Dosa Alone


Hey McDonald’s, Leave My Dosa Alone

Illustration: Juergen Dsouza


hey say, deep inside all of us, a Raj Thackeray thrives. Well, mine came roaring out last afternoon when I heard that McDonald’s new breakfast menu might feature a new variety of burger, a Masala Dosa Burger.  My immediate instinct was to take to the streets calling for a ban on McDonald’s, burning down a few outlets, and demanding that the fast food chain be shifted to Pakistan immediately. Seriously, what is McDonald’s thinking? Bloody anti-nationals. Propagating corrupt western culture through their small buns and revealing salad dressings, and ruining the sanctity of our country. You might be thinking to yourself that I’m overreacting right now. OF COURSE, I’M NOT.

As someone who was raised in Jayanagar, an old-world part of south Bangalore, my blood boils when I hear that someone wants to mess with the love of my life, the masala dosa. To understand my love for the dosa, it’s important you understand Jayanagar. Jayanagar is perhaps the most non-hip area in the whole city, where everything is dull, boring, and organised to a T. It’s like the town-planner crafted with great passion one block of Jayanagar and then lost interest, only to Ctrl C + Ctrl V the rest of the blocks in the neighbourhood. Every block of Jayanagar looks the same. The roads. The trees. The bungalows. The parks. And after a point, even the people start looking the same – dull, boring, and organised; resembling the locality they reside in. They wake up on time, go for a morning walk on time, and then head to work. On time, of course. Only to get back home in time to go to sleep by 9 pm every day. Basically, if Rahul Dravid decided to become an area in Bangalore, he would be Jayanagar.