By Mavis D'Silva Oct. 11, 2020
The Hathras gang-rape and murder has put the spotlight back on women's safety in India, and has opened up a much-needed conversation. Twitter users of all stripes have been posting about how unsafe they feel in their own cities, their own neighbourhoods, and even their own houses.
“She shouldn’t have stepped out at that hour.”
“What was she wearing?”
“She probably asked for it.”
These are arguments that often surface when a woman takes a stand for herself against the harassment inflicted on her by men. The harassment could be anywhere from “harmless” flirting or light sexual harassment to rape, but fingers have always been pointed right back at the victim, their choice of outfit and the time of the day as if the problem to the crimes lay there. In 2020, the situation is barely any different. But women have had enough of the world’s misogyny.
The horrific gang-rape and murder of a 19-year-old Dalit woman in UP’s Hathras, which continues to be politicised, has now taken the route of victim-blaming.
Over the past weeks, the brutal Hathras gang-rape has been a grave reminder that even in death, women will continue to be vilified. BJP leader Ranjeet Srivastava is a prime example of such ignorance and sexism. The 67-year-old not only denied that the young woman was raped but also questioned her character, and that of other rape victims. In a viral video, Srivastava can be heard asking why “such women” are found in millet fields only, and alleged that Hathras victim was having an affair. In the sorry state of our nation, for people like Srivastava, it is easier to believe that the rape and murder is a political ploy by the Opposition instead.
#HathrasGangrape पर बाराबंकी से बीजेपी नेता रंजीत श्रीवास्तव की बयान :
ये सारी मरी हुई लड़कियाँ बाजरे, मक्के, गन्ने, अरहर के खेत में ही क्यों मिलती हैं ?#HathrasCase #HathrasHorror pic.twitter.com/aGT6UM65GN
— News24 (@news24tvchannel) October 6, 2020
Srivastava’s statement is only a reflection of his own vile, regressive mindset, and sadly he wasn’t the only one in denial. The UP police too dismissed any evidence of sexual assault but scurried to burn the victim’s body against the family’s pleas. Rather than honouring the law, the cops barricaded the victim’s kin in their house telling them, “Aap log bhi maaniye ki aap se bhi galti hua hai”. Whether the mistake lay in the victim being a woman, or a woman born into the bottom of an anarchic hierarchy remains unanswered.
The victim blame game only worsened when the media got their hands on the call data records of the accused and victim’s kin, insinuating that the victim and the accused were “probably friends” who were “trying to resolve an issue”.
Hathras victim's call records reveal that there was an exchange of more than 100 calls between October 2019 & March 2020 between the victim and the accused.
So what is being projected as a Dalit atrocity & gang rape could actually be an honour killing??#HathrasTruthExposed
— Priti Gandhi – प्रीति गांधी (@MrsGandhi) October 6, 2020
Too bad the victim isn’t even alive to defend herself. But would she have any takers? Meanwhile, the lawyer who defended “Nirbhaya’s” rapists and violators, is now going to defend the accused in the Hathras case. He is the man who famously said, “Should I not ask what the girl was doing with the boy so late at night? It is part of the evidence.” Just like Srivastava in 2020, Singh had made similarly hollowed claims against the 2012 Delhi gang-rape victim. In fact, the man of law had also stated that he wouldn’t hesitate to douse his own daughter in petrol and burn her if she “moved around with her boyfriend at night” and had “premarital sex”.
Even in this vitiated backdrop, women in India are sharing personal stories of harassment, sadly a daily part of their lives. At least there is some measure of solidarity online.
A few days ago, a Twitter user shared events from her cycling routine over the past two months. “I have gone at 5 am, 6 am, 7 am, 7 pm, 8 pm, 9 pm. I have one bad experience at least, no matter which time slot,” she recounted. “I love cycling and walking but I never do it without fear.”
I have been cycling for two months now. I have gone at 5 AM, 6 AM, 7 AM, 7 PM, 8 PM, 9 PM. I have one bad experience at least, no matter which time slot. I love cycling and walking but I never do it without fear. I tell my boyfriend and parents about all the bad incidents.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
In a series of tweets, user @keepsitrustic highlights how “what time did she step out” does not matter. It does little to guarantee her safety. “I was smacked on the butt 3 weeks back, AT 6.30 am,” she stressed.
And all I do is make them worry more. A man on cycle has flipped his dick. When I walk, A LOT of men get toooooo close as they pass by, I was smacked on the butt 3 weeks back, AT 6.30 AM.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
She further pointed out that she is always fully dressed, knows how to defend herself but has never been able to, and avoids lanes with less traffic while cycling.
I am always always fully clothed, in a mask. I know how to slap or throw a punch but I have never been able to do it. I never enter the nice lanes that have less traffic because I know my mom is freaking out at home.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
She mentioned two incidents in particular, that could send a chill down any woman’s spine for these are not isolated situations. They never are.
A person followed me, I slowed down. He went ahead and slowed down his cycling too. He kept turning his head. I took a smack u-turn, rode the wrong side, checked if he was following still only to see him smiling. He loved that fear, they all do.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
I wear earphones but never put both in. A guy once made a filthy dirty sound and said the worst three words. The women know. They have heard it. I have seen other men laughing when they see it happening.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
“And every other man on the road is a potential threat.”
I am just fucking tired. We all are fucking tired. I hate men, will always do. All of you are trash. If you tell me that things have gotten better, I will punch you. This is just 2 months of cycling. And every other man on the road is a potential threat.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
What does it mean to be carefree? No woman has the answer.
Raise your sons better. This fear is abnormal. I don't know what carefree is. No woman does.
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 6, 2020
The thread has caught the attention of many Twitter users, mostly women, who have narrated similar stories in response.
Cycled in Pondicherry all my life. Taking detours. Making random stops and entering stores for no reason just rid of a stalker
The worst was when I walked w my daughter in my back pack career, got worse.
Now I won't lie that I worry for my daughter. My son is her body guard.
— Alo Pal (@AloPal) October 7, 2020
So sorry to hear about your experience. Not surprised, as have personally experienced. Fear is a constant. I literally don’t walk(which I love) on roads in this city(Delhi) and take the car out even for a short distance. Drives aren’t immune from sick gestures of riders either.
— Monica Sood (@monicasood1986) October 8, 2020
What really is a “safe” neighbourhood?
I live in a 'safe' neighbourhood in Hyderabad, and have been flashed more than 10 times within a km or 2 of my home. We are not safe.
— Shayontoni (@stale_ness) October 7, 2020
Only a woman knows what it is like for a woman in a man's world. This is everyday for us – from walking to cycling, jogging to driving, or simply existing – no space is safe for us anywhere. https://t.co/i0wtgBfyN2
— Samiya Latief (@SamiyaLatief) October 7, 2020
#NotAllMen perhaps, but unsurprisingly every woman.
I don't want to listen to your 'not all men' trash….just read it and get it in your head what your 'petty' acts do to women. https://t.co/ooc4LMHKFg
— Utkarsha Tyagi (@tyagi_utkarsha) October 8, 2020
Every single day; every single woman. The way all of us feel drained shows how it's all totally flawed. https://t.co/taj0emb3FJ
— Olive Oyl (@Olive0yl) October 7, 2020
Does it really take a pandemic to ensure women’s safety from leering men? What’s the cure for this social pandemic?
Such a relatable thread. What do we women do in a world built for men, by men?
Street harassment reiterates everyday how this world belongs to men. Not us.
My fave #pandemicperk is social distancing. Finally rediscovering my love of walking. It’s been YEARS!🚶♀️ https://t.co/lsfR4OPbj2
— Meghana Srinivas (@Meg_Srinivas) October 7, 2020
When a TikTok user posed the question “what would you do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours?”, the comment section was a heartbreaking reminder of the society we live in.
saw a Tiktok that said, what would you do if there were no men on earth for 24 hours.. here was the comment section 🥺 pic.twitter.com/959uo2VESD
— 🎃ver-o-lantern🎃 (@wxixp) September 21, 2020
Many women only wished to do the most mundane of tasks, a sense of freedom and safety that wasn’t granted to them in daily life, walking alone in the middle of the night being one of the common responses.
Going for a late night walk is one of the few activities that really relaxes me and it’s painful knowing an entire demographic doesn’t feel safe doing that 😕 I can’t imagine what that must be like
— code░blue (@c0dexblue) September 23, 2020
A reality check.
my bf and I go for runs together. this one time I complained about my earphones always falling out and he told me that if I wore both I wouldn't have a problem. I explained to him my fear, esp when I'm always behind him, and he had nooo idea that this was fear most girls have
— angel (@angkerri) September 23, 2020
It’s sad that men are actually the most dangerous thing in the world
— 33 (@montrey_jr) September 23, 2020
Imagine how tired we are.
What we need isn’t victim-blaming, and women being told how brave they are for voicing their trauma. No time of the day or piece of clothing could ever justify actions that force women to be “brave” in the first place. It shouldn’t have to be a fight to merely live.
To everyone who thought just because I am scared all the time I will stop, take it. Anger is a great warm up.
NOW PLEASE STOP ASKING ME WHICH CITY BECAUSE IT'S MEN, IN EACH CITY.
To women, occupy all the space. Fight back by claiming it. https://t.co/6ukvRSlFHQ pic.twitter.com/BW1sEUwaoJ
— A friend to all is a friend to none (@keepsitrustic) October 7, 2020
Where are women safe and free? Someday we’ll find the answer we hope to hear. Until then, it’s nowhere.
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