Dear Nice Guys, Stop Congratulating Yourself for Not Being Harassers

Gender

Dear Nice Guys, Stop Congratulating Yourself for Not Being Harassers

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

I

f you’re a man who has never pawed, groped, or assaulted a woman, you are normal. Not good, not great. This is how normal people behave. Stop congratulating yourself.

Are you feeling distressed that I took away your badge of honour? Don’t start fretting yet. I do get it, these days it’s easier to harass a woman than getting your Aadhaar card updated. All you need is a phone with a camera, a dick waiting to spring out of captivity, and heavy breathing. In this age of more than 13 ways to send an instant message and social networks teeming with hot girls talking openly about periods and their sexuality, finding an “object” of your affection is a cakewalk. You don’t even need to be in love with the girl. It doesn’t matter that you are not even friends with her. You only live once, so why waste time in getting to know her and then find out she is just not into you. Just say, hi hottie, I wanna see your tits. If she responds with an ugh, send her a close-up shot of your little boy waiting for action since Big Bang.   

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