By Arré Bench Feb. 26, 2019
Kia’s eccentric new teasers, featuring a tiger, an astronaut, and a car, are more like an elaborate riddle than your everyday vroom-vroom ads of fast cars. What does it all mean? Read on for our highly scientific, expert opinions.
If you like cars, chances are you’ve seen the mysterious ads floating around the interwebz, announcing South Korean auto brand Kia’s arrival into the Indian market, and you’re probably just as confused as we are.
These are not your everyday vroom-vroom ads of fast cars driven by beautiful people (and thank God for that) but for some reason they sold us on astronauts instead of Kia cars. And what the hell is a tiger doing there anyway? An astronaut, a tiger and a Kia car walk into an ad, and we turned to the people at the Arré office to complete the punchline and explain the meaning behind this flummoxing combination of things.
On Kia Astronaut:
According to senior writer Dushyant Shekhawat, it’s an Elon Musk end game. “Experience tells us that a car and an astronaut always point to Elon Musk. Is this part of a plot to launch the car into space? I bet the astronaut suit will open to reveal Elon, self-styled King of the Universe.”
But pedant-in-chief and token firangi, Kahini Iyer, has found a flaw in this theory. “How do we know the astronaut isn’t on Earth? Maybe this car is so easy to drive, even an astronaut can do it.”
Hardik Rajgor, Twitter influencer and Mumbaikar always on the lookout for more square footage wonders if “space” is is a metaphor for actual space? “I wish they’d given the prices. Maybe I could just buy this SUV and save money on rent. It’s bigger than my house anyway.”
Meanwhile, Grub correspondent and meme queen, Damian D’Souza, is on his own trip. “Bhaiyon aur behno, I’m excited to announce that the future is here. I present… the FLYING CAR!”
“Who cares?” says Sagar Shah, our Kumbh-return in-house philosopher. “In the air or on the ground, you’ll just end up sitting in traffic.”
Treasured intern Mavis D’Silva tries to lighten the moment. “Wow, this car is really out of this world… get it? Hey, where are you all going?”
And what the hell is a tiger doing there anyway?
On Kia Tiger:
Says social media celeb and ruthless critic Poulomi Das: “Does this foreshadow a race between the tiger and a Kia car? Like when Michael Phelps raced that shark? And will the astronaut be the one driving? KIA has an effective build-up in the first half and I’m looking forward to the sequel.”
On the other hand, Nihal Bambulkar, resident cartoonist and office ka bacha, has it all figured out. “Oh, I get it. It’s a tiger because the car looks like a tiger. See, the eyes there, the mouth there. Seriously, is no one else seeing this? Are you guys messing with me again?”
Jackie Thakkar, part-time standup comic, full-time writer of millennial jokes, is horrified by what he’s seen. “Excuse me, tiger pee smells like WHAT?! The movies are RUINED and I’m never eating buttered popcorn again. Thanks a lot, Kia.”
In despair, we turned to our esteemed editors, Karanjeet Kaur and Gauri Ghade, for answers. They’ve never let us down yet.
“Awww, cho chweet, a tiger!” they coo. “Look at that widdle nose! Sorry, what was the question?”