EXCLUSIVE! Bad Santa Behind Satna Carollers’ Burning Car

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EXCLUSIVE! Bad Santa Behind Satna Carollers’ Burning Car

Illustration: Sushant Ahire/Arré

W

eedward & Bongstein were on their annual Christmas break in Madhya Pradesh, when they heard about an incident in the city of Satna. Here, a vehicle carrying mirth and good cheer was set on fire. This was not a car headed to a Punjabi wedding, but one full of Christmas carollers. Being the committed investigative journalists that the two are, W&B decided to get to the bottom of this important mystery.

On arriving in downtown Satna, W&B were told that the “anti-nationals” had been lodged in the local police station. They met a police inspector, a Salman Khan wannabe named Bhulchuk Pandey, who directed them to a jail cell holding eight priests and seven carollers. When asked what the priests had done, Inspector Bhulchuk stated, “Dekhe hain hum Ispotlight (sic), humko pata hai yeh bin bache ke fatherlog kya karte hai, isliye inko jail me rakhe hai.” (I’ve seen Spotlight, I know all about what these childless fathers are upto.)

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