SCOOP! An Evening with Ivanka Trump


SCOOP! An Evening with Ivanka Trump

Illustration: Shruti Yatam


hile her father was making time in his schedule to insult “red Indians”, Ivanka Trump was busy cracking a deal with a different kind of Indian. Weedward and Bongstein, the world’s finest journalists, were standing outside a bangle shop in Hyderabad where the National Advisor to the US President was attempting to solicit cheap labour for her upcoming multi-million dollar business venture. It’s called  “Daddy Tissues” and the plan, she told us candidly, is to sell tissue paper to people with low self-esteem at exorbitant rates. Clearly the apple, in this case, doesn’t fall far from the tree.

At some point during her conversation, in which she pronounced the word “choodi” in an unfortunate way up to three times, she was distracted by a local woman buying groceries. “You there. Let me empower you,” she told the woman, creepily. “I am a great entrepreneur.” Amazed by this interest shown by a person with white skin, the woman nodded her head frantically. Fake candids with the bangle-seller and other local Hyderabadi people were clicked in an attempt to convince the world that America’s First Daughter is just like anyone else, before the crew moved to the Falaknuma Palace for the big dinner with Prime Minister Modi.