Exclusive: Priyankuh Chopruh Steals the Red Carpet at Emmys. Literally.


Exclusive: Priyankuh Chopruh Steals the Red Carpet at Emmys. Literally.

Illustration: Juergen Dsouza/ Arré

In an act of heroic undercover journalism, the kind that they are famous for, Weedward & Bongstein snuck into the Emmys disguised as Jay Z and Eminem, looking for a hot story.

On reaching the venue, they noticed that a section of the red carpet had been strategically snipped off in parts. Registering the suspicious holes, they proceeded to the function where Indian American actress Priyankuh Chopruh’s (née Priyanka Chopra) was twirling for the cameras. With their keen observation skills, they happened to notice that the actress was not only wearing a red dress, but also that the fabric shared many similarities with missing parts of the carpet.

On asking discreet questions, W&B learnt that Priyankuh’s Los Angeles hotel room was broken into the night before the Emmys. According to initial reports, the actress walked into her room to find the door ripped off its hinges and the room ransacked. The actress claimed that the missing items included a couple of designer outfits, some jewellery, and a copy of the book “American Accent for Dummies”. The alleged thieves, however, left behind her new iPhone 7 and AirPods, with a note that simply stated, “Ain’t nobody need that shit.”

A source close to the actress told W&B that the incident had devastated Priyankuh. “Among the items stolen were the dress and jewellery she was scheduled to wear at the award ceremony.” According to the key source, who was hidden in Priyankuh’s bathroom, the whole time, the actress allegedly flew in accomplished ladies’ tailor Imtiyaz bhai from Lokhandwala, Mumbai, hours after the burglary. The source claimed that Imtiyaz bhai had been tasked with crafting a new look for the actress in record time. Priyankuh was allegedly heard yelling, “Do it fastuh, Imtiyaz. We are running out of time.”

When presented with this explosive evidence that suggested that Priyankuh had pulled off the red-carpet look by actually pulling off a section of the red carpet, the Academy of Television Arts and Sciences went on to launch a formal investigation. The police have been alerted, and samples from Priyankuh’s dress have been sent to a forensic lab for testing.

When W&B ran into Priyankuh and Tom Hiddleston at the post-Emmy bash and confronted her with the evidence, the actress said, “Why walk the red carpet when you can be it? Plus I’m almost white now, good luck proving I stole something.”