By Weedward and Bongstein Aug. 25, 2016
DJ wale Bobby lets us in on a Gupt deal he has signed with Coldplay’s Chris Martin.
ours after news broke that wannabe-actor-turned-wannabe-DJ Bobby Deol was asked to open for Coldplay in Mumbai this November, Weedward & Bongstein, who are huge fans, jumped at the opportunity to interview the legend. They caught up with Bobby at his hairstylist, while he was getting a perm. He initially shook his head violently with outstretched arms, but doctors ruled out a seizure and W&B were able to conduct the interview. The excerpts:
W&B: How’s it going Bobby? We heard about your gig in Delhi last month…
Bobby: So did I.
W&B: Yeah, obviously you did. You were there, weren’t you?
Bobby: I’m everywhere, just like smoke, you know. Yahan wahan, dhuan dhuan.
W&B: So what exactly happened? We heard it didn’t go too well.
Bobby: I was at a club in Delhi two months ago, when some rich south Delhi uncle asked me to play a set at his nightclub. I politely declined, but he waved this gun in my face and promised me free butter chicken.
W&B: So were you coerced into playing that gig?
Bobby: Initially, but then meethi baatein bol kar, he won me over. He literally stole my heart.
W&B: And the rest is history.
Bobby: Something like that.
W&B: Speaking of history, tell us, why did you stop acting and make this switch?
Bobby: I’ve always wanted to be a DJ. I knew it ever since I was told at a young age that I’m a good dancer. I have this thing for crazy dance moves.
W&B: Okay, not the same thing. Anyway, we hear that your DJing career is just taking off. Rumour has it that you’ve been asked to open for Coldplay. Are you excited to play in front of such a huge crowd for the first time ever?
Bobby: Actually, I am pretty excited. Chris (Martin) has already agreed to cover all Gupt songs, after I play my set of Gupt songs. I will also pay a tribute to the great band by recording a cover for them called “Humraaz for the Weekend”.
We’re friends, you know. Dost dhundta hoon main, dosti ke liye.
W&B: You do realise that you keep quoting lyrics of songs from your own movies, right?
Bobby: They are not just lyrics. They are a way of life. Philosophies I live by.
Bobby: Exactly. Chori mein hi hai maza.
W&B: Bobby are you high?
Bobby: The answer lies within.
W&B: Within what?
Bobby: Within my dance routine, you idiots. Hey, you guys have been here for a while, do you want to do some coke and party with me?
(At this point, Bobby began marching across the room, chanting the word “Soldier” repeatedly. W&B weren’t sure what coke Bobby was referring to and whether they even wanted to get as high as him, so they decided to make a Gupt exit.)
Weedward and Bongstein are serious investigative journalists. They have been involved in some of the biggest exposés in recent history. This bio will self-destruct in 5 seconds to protect their identities.