Long Live Samsung Note 7

Cyber

Long Live Samsung Note 7

Illustration: Akshita Monga/ Arré

F

riends, millennials, Snapchatters, please lend me your abnormally short attention spans. I come to bury Samsung Galaxy Note 7, so keep the fire extinguishers ready.

You were a splendid beauty, thin and curvaceous, the very embodiment of attractiveness in 2016. You had an Edge™ unlike any we’ve seen before, and the capacity to go all day long. You were the tech equivalent of Kim Kardashian. Oh, Note 7, you were the Apple of our eye. You were meant to lead us away from the straight-edged world. You were not perfect by any stretch of imagination, but we grew fond of your unmanicured loveliness, your rubbish software quirks, and your attempts to clone FaceTime. We even moved past your, umm, obvious tagline, “Designed for Humans”. We forgave your wherever-you-look-we’ll-be-watching-you advertising blitzkrieg.

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