Kartik Aaryan & Piggy Chops’ “Quarantine Content” is Going to Make Us Sick

Coronavirus

Kartik Aaryan & Piggy Chops’ “Quarantine Content” is Going to Make Us Sick

celeb-fail
Illustration: Shruti Yatam

Everytime a pandemic strikes, there are several groups who are likely to be most affected — patients with immuno-deficiency disorders, daily wage labourers, the elderly, children, hospital staff, and travel and tourism employees. Oh, and, of course, we almost forgot to mention — the extroverted celebrity who’s stuck at home and doesn’t have anything else to talk about until all the nightclubs finally reopen.

The Covid-19 pandemic has thus led to an epidemic of “quarantine content” coming out of the entertainment industry. Over the last couple of days, celebrities who are stuck at home have been desperately attempting to draw attention back to themselves, while also being cautious enough to appear sensitive to the general cause. These good intentions, however, have unfortunately led to abominations such as:

Kartik Aaryan’s Bhool Bhulaiyaa-inspired Hand Wash PSA (feat Dettol)

Bollywood’s latest heartthrob, Kartik Aaryan, has become a household name, even if it’s for his ability to be a palpitation on one day, and an embolism on the next.

Either way, he’s almost impossible to avoid if you’re the kind who keeps up with Zoom news these days, and for good reason! Yesterday, the actor/model/all-round handsome guy, decided it was time he stopped messing around, and tackled more complex issues such as the coronavirus. Thus was born a video in which he breaks down one of the more confusing aspects of Covid-19 in the strangest possible manner — the handwash.

Appearing as a God-send to anyone who has never applied soap to their palms, or is unfamiliar with the concept of cleaning their fingernails, the actor shows us all how to properly cleanse our hands. While doing this, he wears multiple expressions, all at once, as if to indicate that he is definitely the ghost in the upcoming film Bhool Bhulaiyaa.

The video, which lasts only 18 seconds, of which he’s washing his hands for 15 at best (five seconds less than the WHO guidelines, but hey, he seems like a clean guy), was welcomed by his notorious Twitter fan club:

Speaking of famous people who can’t seem to get enough attention, there’s also:

Priyanka Chopra’s Attempt at an Indic Renaissance 

Ever since becoming Hollywood’s most loved desi girl, the bahu of the Jonas family hasn’t had much time to remind everyone of her cultural heritage, only bringing it up about every alternate waking minute.

So when news broke of the coronavirus pandemic, everyone’s first question was obviously, how will dear Piggy Chops deal with all the stress. Luckily she told us through a power-point presentation of her doing namastes at different events. (Let’s hope this trend picks up!).

Of course, as with Kartik Aryan, the tweet seems to have come from a good place, and the video is clearly Chopra’s attempt at promoting her five-year-old nephew’s upcoming graphic design agency. But the internet was, also as usual, having none of this self-promotion:

All Hail the Bono-volent one

Legend has it that U2 singer Bono spends his days roaming around crisis hit areas waiting for the day he can bestow upon them the power of his lyricism.

So obviously with all the coronavirus headlines doing the rounds, Bono couldn’t resist making his voice heard once again. Coming fresh off his India tour — where he happened to ignore the political situation in Delhi to sing songs about ahimsa — Bono couldn’t resist making his voice heard once again. He decided to compose a song for the people suffering from the lockdown in Italy, which is as expected from him, a noble gesture, but also one that prompted comments like:

And also, quite unnecessarily, reminded people of this:

And then led to this.

And finally.

Disney girl got little too real for a second

This is the most forgivable one in the list because Vanessa Hudgens is a Disney girl and hence statistically more likely to be depressed.

Still her coronavirus comments, which she made on an Insta live session — ”Yeah, people are gonna die, which is terrible. But like, inevitable… How long is this shit going to last? — haven’t aged as well as some of her peers have. Hudgens’ musings about the inevitability of death were quickly shut down by a few kind commenters.

Eventually Vanessa acknowledged what she said was “insensitive”, and apologised in a tweet. But judging by the replies, it’s not likely that people are going to forget this incident very soon.


So there you have it. While celebrities have been scrambling to find a message to put out for their followers, the message from social media back to them seems to be pretty clear: During a pandemic, doctors are the only celebrities we need to hear from. Maybe donate some of your piles of money to those who need it, and wait patiently for your time to shine (any time that’s not during a pandemic).

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