Checking in on Munna and Circuit 12 Years After Lage Raho Munna Bhai

Bollywood

Checking in on Munna and Circuit 12 Years After Lage Raho Munna Bhai

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander

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t’s been 12 years since we last saw everyone’s favourite Gandhian goons, Munna and Circuit. At the end of Lage Raho Munnabhai, our title character along with his posse of Circuit, Jhanvi, and the jolly good fellows at Second Innings Home seemingly got the happily ever after they deserved. Or did they?

Our number one Bollywood therapist does a quick look-over.

So, doc. Let’s jump right in. How are things with Munna?

You don’t need a psychology degree to deduce that Munna is a pathological liar. Among his many lies in the past, are being a doctor, a Gandhigiri professor, and perhaps worst of all, a “bemisaal actor”? Who is he kidding? We’ve all seen him in Rudraksh and Son of Sardaar. So, it’s no surprise that Jhanvi eventually caught on.

Wow. So things aren’t great with Munna and Jhanvi?

Well, it was pretty great for a while. The two continued helping people on the radio using Gandhigiri and that staple Hiraniverse ingredient, delusional optimism. Jhanvi was also not too pleased to find out about Chinky, Munna’s ex wife. His exact words during our first therapy session were, “Apna life full saanp seedi ka game hai, kabhi Chinky, toh kabhi Jhanvi. Kabhi AK toh kabhi Gandhigiri.” It was inevitable that the two would head for splitsville.

Munna sounds like he’d be a prime candidate for borderline multiple personality disorder.

Damn, son. You’ll make a good psych! Yes, he could very easily be diagnosed with that but since this is the Hiraniverse, we call it chemical locha. So kindly cut out all the medical jargon and be a little sensitive, mamu.

Okaaay. How has Jhanvi handled the divorce?

Well, if you look at the whole dirty picture, you will realise she is doing very well for herself. Post their divorce, she traded in her bubbly, morning RJ personna for an edgier, more sensual late-night chat show called Tumhari Ullu. Replacing her signature line of “Good morning, Mumbaaai” with the more forthcoming, “Main kar sakti hai.” The show was well-received and garnered her a lot of praise for shedding light on problems faced by middle-aged men struggling to cope with life after watching Kismat Konnection.

Armed with his signature chemical locha and delusions of grandeur, Munna has been hell bent on getting the world to forget about his past as a convicted criminal.

That sounds amazing! And how about Circuit? Did he finally find love?

Even better. He found politics. Let’s face it, we all saw the signs. The black kurtas, the bling, the obsession with Hakka Noodles despite a staunch hatred for the Chinese. Circuit was always destined to become a karyakarta for a populist political party. Much like most followers of his party, he is in constant denial of the sorry state of this country and regularly spews defensive statements like, “You only see bhukka-nanga Indian, poor people, hungry people. You don’t see Taj Mahal?” He will also counter any logical argument with, “Bhai ne bola acche din dikhta hai, matlab dikhta hai.” Also, his past rap sheets of half-murder, kidnapping, and extortion quickly made him popular in the party. He is also credited with coining the popular idiom, “Want an anti-national kidnapped? Samjho ho hi gaya!” which is being considered as the party’s 2019 election slogan.

That’s really depressing. Speaking of which, how are the lovable old folks at Second Innings Home?

The biggest tragedy for them is being reminded that back in 2006, real estate rates were affordable enough for eight pensioners to live in a bungalow in Versova. In fact, one of them was living so lavishly, he even had a vintage “kissing car”. Of course, since this is 2018, the house has been repossessed and the seniors now live in a 2BHK off Dahisar check naka woefully hoping RERA comes to their rescue. Also, the car has been seized ever since kissing in public became unsanskari.

This is all really morose, doc. At least tell us Munna has been fine post the divorce?

Oh! He handled the divorce rather well and added another 103 women to his final tally of 308 disappointed women in his quest to validate his fragile male ego. Munna also recently realised that he is more likely to get arrested for spreading Gandhian messaging in 2018 than he is for being a thug. So he did what all retired gangsters who’ve spent a lifetime conning people do: Hired a great PR agency and ran for elections. Armed with his signature chemical locha and delusions of grandeur, Munna has been hell bent on getting the world to forget about his past as a convicted criminal. So most recently, he got one of his powerful Bollywood friends to make a biopic about his life.

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