23 Years of DDLJ: How to Be an Adarsh Hindustani Mard by Raj

Bollywood

23 Years of DDLJ: How to Be an Adarsh Hindustani Mard by Raj

Illustration: Arati Gujar

H

ello, Señoritas! It’s Raj, naam toh suna hoga. Shit, that’s not this film, is it? Okay look, I know that all I do is talk about the racist women I met during my umpteen trips, who didn’t like Hindustanis. But yesterday, Pops was like, “Opochi” and I realised that he was right: I really do need to challenge myself. Days later, when I was on my weekly pigeon-feeding sesh with Bauji, in the middle of “Aao, aao,” I went “Phurrr?” Things just clicked in my brain. Today, I’m going to talk to y’all about what it takes to be an Adarsh Hindustani Mard. Like me.

First things first. Behind every Adarsh Hindustani Mard is an amazing father who wants us to never stop partying. Ask me for instance. Y’all only know stories about me from my college days. But what you don’t know is that back in middle school, I was the first boy in my class to flirt with girls. The trick is to always catch them off guard and sneak your head into their laps. No other boys in my class had the guts to do that, but you know me, I’m an adarsh lover.

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