In the late ’80s and ’90s, Bollywood witnessed the Age of Overstatement and Sridevi was its leading light: A classy embodiment of this period dominated by mismatched outfits, bouncy hair, and pelvic thrusts.

I know what you’re thinking. I don’t do dildos! I’m not that woman. May I assure you that you are?

After my parents parted ways, my mother moved to Spain. The world around me erupted in the sound of an angry sizzle. How could she abandon a teenage daughter?

My parents are divorced and there’s nothing ideal about my family, except our love for food. And, in some truly unique ways, it has kept us together.

My stepmom was family-oriented and I was aloof. We didn’t know each other well enough to let our differences be. But what saved us in the end, oddly, was my baby stepbrother.

I was a dark baby, born to a mother and two grandmothers with pearly, translucent skin. And I grew up believing I was dirty.

I didn’t move out of my parent’s house to party hard. I just wanted to watch Romedy Now and eat chips in my underwear.