For the prize of a herd of high-yield milch cows and a designer gaushala, the Uttarakhand government is inviting participants for their new reality show, aimed at entrenching the cow’s position as the mother of the nation.

Reports emerge about JNU students’ insidious plan to take over the country. Expect a barrage of jholas, and a number of contraceptives to be thrown in your face, while the army prepares the 36 Rafale jets to counter protestors.

Bigg Boss participants refuse to perform tasks until Anup Jalota sings more than seven words without getting distracted. Sponsors too have threatened to pull out if singer doesn’t finish the bhajan.

Patanjali has created a new “miracle” product that will not only act as a cheaper substitute for petrol, but can also be used as gomutra, fairness cream, and lubricant.

An exclusive report submitted by the investigation agency details the measures that were taken to bring the fugitive home. Claims Mallya’s escape plans inspired by Cartoon Network.

If Raghuram Rajan really wanted the PMO to pay heed to his report on high-profile fraud cases, he should have tweeted it to the official handle. Isn’t he aware that the PMO is more active on social media than anywhere else?

BJP to send pamphlets from the PM’s foreign visits straight to your house. Armed with a FitBit report, Congress hits back by hiring Rahul Gandhi as the world’s fastest delivery boy.

Mumbaikars hope the rise in petrol prices goes the Sachin way – simply crawl after reaching the 90 mark. Sachin-crazed fans have decided to hold a hawan to invoke their God and prove to the world the power of the nervous nineties.

Thanks to PM Modi’s clout on the global stage, UNESCO has favoured our country, and selected a few clueless desi politicians for its new education scheme, part of its International Literacy Day initiative. Ram Kadam is expected to get a lesson on consent and Subramanian Swamy on… everything.

Ram Kadam launches new kidnap app, Rent a Raavan, in Mumbai. The service will be rolled out across the country once enough Omni vans have been commissioned.

As petrol prices compete with Titanium prices, a Mumbai businessman made the rich list. “I sold two bedrooms of my 3BHK to fill that tank,” the businessman said. “Next week I plan to sell the third and move into my car.”

Two years after demonetisation, almost all the old currency notes have returned to the government, barring ₹10,000 crore. That’s a hella lot black money! Who’s going to build those extra statues we were promised would be erected in the middle of the sea, now?

The Jio Institute’s “Nation Wants to Know” Achievers Programme features the men behind the half-man-half peacock and the only legit counter to Charles Darwin. Find out who all made the cut.

After the CM ordered that he wants Mumbai’s roads to look like Hema Malini’s cheeks, the BMC has found a novel solution: They will get rid of the patches of roads between potholes to ensure consistency.

A special behind-the-scenes preview of the future of Indian universities, the Jio Institute, starring the Bachchans and the Kapoors, students in Abu Jani & Sandeep Khosla uniforms, 100 per cent pure-veg dhoklas, and chemistry labs with cheerleaders.

Elon Musk, not satisfied with sending cars into space, has decided to be needlessly proactive yet again. Days after he offered a kid-sized submarine to Thai authorities to help save children stuck in a cave, sources say that the BMC has ordered 50 of the same to help Mumbaikars commute this monsoon.

A day after the Supreme Court ruling effectively gave him the upper hand over the Lieutenant Governor in Delhi, Arvind Kejriwal is starting to resemble Bhiku Mhatre, the king of Mumbai, from cult film Satya.

After his histrionics in this edition of the FIFA World Cup, Neymar has attracted the attention of Bollywood for both his acting skills and resemblance to Kunal Khemu.

As Sanju breaks all box-office records, the film’s director Rajkumar Hirani is flooded with applications from Salman Khan and Shiney Ahuja to be considered for his next biopic. After all, who needs courts when you have Rajkumar Hirani to prove to the world that you are not guilty.