Forget Iulia Vantur, Warina Hussain, and bechara Aamir Khan. The latest firangi sensation in Bollywood is, without a doubt, Lake Como – the third glamorous diva at the Deepika-Ranveer wedding. And where Bollywood goes, the selfie-taking desi tourist follows.

As Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald releases, we finally see the much-hyped Nagini – and she is underwhelming. Should just have asked us, JK Rowling, we’re the experts in poorly CGI’d shape-shifting snakes.

Gellert Grindelwald’s tactics of demonising muggles, as a convenient “other”, can be seen in the divisive politics of the US, much of Europe, Brazil, and even in our India. Like a steadily growing number of our world leaders, Grindelwald understands the politics of fear, fake news, and populism.

Despite its glaring flaws, Dostana played a role in drawing the attention of a nation oblivious to the queer community and its struggles. The film went on to define the mantra of the LGBT community: sexy, fabulous, and deeply individual.

The Ranveer Singh-Deepika Padukone romance, captured in heartfelt confessions, mushy Instagram comments, and photos so sweet that they make singletons burst into tears, feels strikingly genuine in an industry where, dating is often used as a PR strategy.

Chhattisgarh’s action-packed polls are like a teaser-trailer for Election 2019. With all the high drama and horse-trading, it promises to be a merry – if frustrating – circus. It’s missing the pirates and the high seas, but is still more entertaining than Thugs of Hindostan.

Over the past year, women have done enough talking, outing sexual harassers with courage. But despite that, powerful men get away with million-dollar severance packages. Google Walkout seems to be the answer.

When vegans claim their diet is better for the environment, but rely on imported foods that waste water and fuel, are they being any more hypocritical than those who eat “Jain chicken”? Is their irritating preachiness so out-of-place in a country that has forced the world’s largest burger chain to create a beefless menu?

What will the Statue of Unity be remembered for? For being the world’s biggest statue? Or for being part of the government’s effort to make history for the world’s highest re-election spend?

Louis CK and Aziz Ansari returned to the public eye after a self-prescribed sabbatical. A society that welcomes harassers back after a short time-out ensures that they are shielded from meaningful consequences. Will that happen with the predators India’s #MeToo has exposed?

How many Indian men can so lightly embody the many contradictions of Ranveer Singh? In our determinedly binary society, his love of lehengas on anyone else might have garnered epithets of “sissy” or “hijra”. But then, as his infamous t-shirt once declared, Ranveer always makes one thing abundantly clear: he’s got no fucks to give.

There’s never a particularly good time to be a dissenter, but the murder of Saudi journalist Jamal Khashoggi, the death of Father Kuriakose Kattithara, the priest who tried to stand up to Bishop Francis Kurukkal, and the forced leave of CBI chief Alok Verma highlight just how dangerous it is to challenge the powers that be.

At a recent press conference, Rakhi Sawant claimed that Tanushree Dutta raped her and muddied the waters of the #MeToo movement by calling it a publicity stunt. Because if anyone knows anything about cheap publicity stunts, it is Rakhi Sawant. It is fine to issue wedding proposals from your commode, but dismissing a movement for solidarity is going too far.

Whatever her intentions, union minister Smriti Irani’s remarks on taking sanitary napkins into homes and temples fall neatly into a cultural norm that considers women “impure” for menstruating, capable of “desecrating” any place by their mere presence.

Journalist Tavleen Singh has reduced #MeToo to a bunch of well-heeled urban women complaining over a bit of workplace harassment. But it is actually Singh and her ilk’s privilege that has helped them rise above the rampant sexism, which held back so many of their peers. That continues to be an obstacle for younger women.

Karnataka Union Minister Anant Kumar Hegde recently claimed that his job was to do politics, not social service. Understandable. In other countries, getting into politics is not considered the rough equivalent of joining the mafia. But our politicians have long forgotten that they are put in place to serve the people, rather than the other way around.

Despite the Supreme Court order that allows women devotees to enter the Sabarimala Temple, they’ve been greeted with vicious attacks and stone-pelting. Who are these “real devotees” of Ayyappa, who believe in their religious rights without considering the constitutional rights of others?

It took the clout of 20 powerful and credible women to bring down one harasser. What message does this send to India’s women, whose harassers are not public figures, and who are not the nation’s top journalists and writers? That their stories will be ignored?

The rose-tinted escapism that defines PG Wodehouse’s oeuvre speaks volumes of a social observer who knew that the days of this rarefied existence were numbered. In his tumultuous times, his refusal to take anything seriously, be it political patriotism, the sacred lion of MGM Studios, or his own work, was its own form of irreverent resistance – one that is just as effective today as it was a hundred years ago.

Malgudi might have been a made-up Tamil town of the 1940s, supposedly located near colonial Madras. But its realism came from slice-of-life tales about a community that, however far removed from me in space and time, felt like home.

For many men, consent is a boundary that has to be challenged, rather than respected: Whether it’s Nana Patekar, who insisted there was a “misunderstanding” between him and Tanushree Dutta, or the allegations against Aziz Ansari that were chalked up to a bad date.

Tanushree Dutta’s allegations of sexual harassment are eerily similar to Christine Blasey Ford’s, who testified at a US Supreme Court hearing yesterday. Does this mean that India’s #MeToo reckoning has begun? Because the movement’s progress in the US nearly one year on, is a sign that little has changed.

Today is CJI Dipak Misra's last day as top judge. He will be remembered as the judge who scrapped Section 377 – but his legacy will be shrouded by the impeachment motion and the Justice Loya investigation.

The concept of cramming a bunch of oddballs into a house and filming the fuckery is not exclusive to Bigg Boss. It’s a tried-and-tested reality formula, and it always works. You may consider it low-brow and yet you’ll consume it, as I learned when I discovered Jersey Shore.

Award ceremonies have long been criticised for being self-indulgent affairs, designed by the rich, white, and famous – for the rich, white, and famous. If the Emmys this year, defined by its snubs, were any evidence, there’s still a long way to go before that changes.

It might be tempting to dismiss terms like “Urban Naxal” and “anti-national” as empty rhetoric, but their domination of our news cycle demands a closer look. It all comes down to a nationwide difference of opinion on one question: What is the purpose of the country, and for whom?

Dutee Chand has come a long way: She’s won a fight against the sexist practices of the International Olympic Committee. Her silver medal at the 100m event at Asian Games comes on the back of a horrifying struggle that challenged her very identity as a woman.

Why believe in meticulous research citing climate change and poor management of dams and irrigation, when you can pin the blame for the Kerala floods on MLAs eating beef or women entering temples?

Even as a kid, I knew that the secret to gorgeous hair was my dad’s heavy-handed Parachute champi and that the tastiest fish was fried in coconut oil. So it came as a rude shock when Harvard professor Karin Michels denigrated coconut oil as “pure poison”.

The Centre has declined all foreign offers of aid for disaster-struck Kerala, including UAE’s donation of ₹700 crores. The government is acting in line with policy, but it is imperative to remember that the UAE has been built on the back of a workforce from Kerala.

The #MeToo movement has changed our perception of who a sexual abuser can be – but not our view of victims of sexual assault. Who exactly is the “perfect” victim? The Asia Argento case challenges that notion, letting us know that a victim of assault can also be a perpetrator.

Indians are so obsessed with the virtues of a struggle, that it has become a part of our national narrative. But what happens to those who inherit the burdens of inequality and not the fruits of struggle?

Anushka Sharma is facing yet another social media backlash – this time for being photographed with the Indian cricket team. Anushka can’t seem to catch a break. When Virat Kohli is not in his finest form, we believe blaming Anushka for existing is par for the course.

The 1952 film by Karunanidhi, Parasakthi, democratised the DMK’s message of Dravidian ideology. But it was more than a propaganda film. Revolving around a divided Tamil family left broken and destitute by World War II, it was a scathing critique of a sexist, casteist society.

Besides being an old-fashioned film, designed purely for the purposes of glorious, full-throated entertainment, Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again provides a refreshing perspective on life – one that is a soothing balm for our world of stressed-out Sophies.

Lewis Carroll based his most famous character on Alice Pleasance Liddell, the 10-year-old daughter of his friend. Carroll’s views on little girls bordered on the predatory. So how do we read the beloved Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland in a post #MeToo world?

The Fanney Khan song “Mere Achhe Din Kab Aayenge” is now BJP-approved. The lyrics have been suitably changed to “Mere Achche Din Ab Aaye Re”. The party might as well use it as its 2019 slogan.

Indian students rarely ask questions, because in our schools, a “why” is never treated as an innocent question, but an open challenge to the authority of a teacher. We are all expected to be Eklavyas, ready to offer our thumbs to our gurus without doubting them.

Mesut Ozil once said he had two hearts, one German and one Turkish. But regardless of his fame, he can’t transcend the stereotype of being a German only when he is useful to Germany. After a World Cup that was lauded for belonging to immigrants, Ozil’s retirement statement throws up a new question: Is it possible for immigrants to belong?

My hometown Toronto has been in the news for a spate of attacks on its diverse population. Are they a part of a creeping culture of polarisation and dissent? Is fear the new normal in Toronto, the only city where I’ve walked down dark alleys in the middle of the night?

Could our frightening new fluorescent notes be a clever new strategy to push the country toward digital currency? From the blue 50, to the recently announced violet 100-rupee note, we’ve ranked them from worst to not-so-bad.

What do billionaires like Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk, and Kylie Jenner do when they’re not calling rescue divers “paedos”, earning all the money in the world, or just getting another cosmetic procedure? Here’s a glimpse into the lives of the rich and famous.

Why is India stuck spending the better part of 2018 arguing over Sec 377, a law that has its roots in legislation that was passed while Henry VIII was King of England? Because Section 377 is vague in its definition of what constitutes an “unnatural” act.

Marvel’s first female headliner offers the studio the perfect playground to fix its infamous “woman problem”. So why does the film feel like Ant-Man and the Afterthought, rather than Ant-Man and the Wasp?

The FIFA World Cup is a quadrennial Miss World pageant for dudes. To ensure complete fairness, we’ve ranked all the players on the basis of the three most important skills required in football: Have they got the game, heart, and the hot bod to be the ultimate Man of the Snatch?

Eleven members of a family in Delhi’s Burari killed themselves and initial investigations suggest that they were part of a deadly cult that promised them salvation. What does the Bhatia family have in common with the Jonestown Massacre?

The Maharashtra Navnirman Sena and its brand of politics is as stale as a vada pav in a movie theatre. Is it any surprise that the party is pursuing public approval with the same aggression that they apply to everything else in life?

Our Saviour-in-Chief Sushma Swaraj has been the subject of abuse by the very monster her party has created – the nationalist troll. Perhaps that’s why her measured reaction to them has been garnering admiration.

Yoga is no longer just a class or a few peaceful asanas in the garden. It’s a glossy, high-end lifestyle, with green detox smoothies and avocado salads, practised by white folks. Maybe it’s time to counter Harry Potter yoga with Mahabharata yoga.

For a man like Irrfan Khan, who has always marched to the beat of his own drum, narrating his story of fighting cancer might be his boldest role yet. By sharing the truth of his struggle with his fans and followers, he has displayed a rare kind of generosity.

With nail-biting challenges like a fast protest, celebrity guests like Arvind Kejriwal, and surprise evictions like Manish Sisodia’s, Bigg Boss Delhi is the hottest reality show on TV today.

We live in a time when the nation has joyfully adopted Karan Johar’s vision of the ultimate shaadi. But when everyone else has boarded the party bus, the Tam Brahm prefers endless agarbatti-fuelled ceremonies, Bharatnatyam, and a lunch of rice and sambar.

My name is Taimur Ali Khan. I may be just a baby, but I still get jealous. My fans are chasing some new baby-faced chikna, who goes by the name Nick Jonas. I’m having a toddler-life crisis though I keep repeating to myself, “Main mera favourite hoon.”

Monogamy today has become as outdated as hair scrunchies and tamagotchis. After all, how are you supposed to experience all that life has to offer if you’re stuck with one person? Yet, I find it difficult to commit myself to not committing.

There is a particular brand of millennial woke theatre in which all the world’s a stage to prove that you are better than the asshole next to you... Someone who’s never even heard of bell hooks or worse, uses animal-tested cosmetics.

Kareena Kapoor in her progressive Veere Di Wedding avatar is enjoyable if you can forget the fact that a few weeks ago, the actress did a U-turn on her character’s seemingly feminist stance. What happens to feminists after marriage?

The United Forum of Banker’s Unions has decided that enough is enough. After all the hardships we’ve endured, we’ve got a meagre wage raise of two per cent, because of losses in the sector. How is our two-hour lunch break to blame?

If headphones were stolen from the Tejas Express, will Indian passengers spare lifejackets and safety floats on Angriya, the Mumbai-Goa cruise? Expect windows to be smashed and a “Pappu loves Pinky” graffiti to magically appear on the boat overnight.

Whom will PM Modi nominate for the #HumFitTohIndiaFit Challenge? Our top three picks our Rahul Gandhi, Amit Shah, and HD Kumaraswamy.

I can understand the motivation to make every moment count on the weekend. After all, our waking hours are spent in a cramped office with a bunch of people we can barely tolerate. But Weekend Warriors, determined to tick off every box on their “Having Fun” checklist, put the “weak” in weekend.

When I heard of Google Duplex, I went into overdrive thinking of all the things I’d never have to do again if Duplex could stay on the down-low. Customer care executives, annoying relatives, and break ups were all things from which I’d be forever freed.

Meghan Markle is an outsider. Not only is she a commoner, she’s a clueless import from across the pond which gave birth to McDonald’s. The royal wedding is going to be a brutal affair, but she can totally own it if she keeps an eye out for Piggy Chops attempting to steal her thunder.

The VHP has taught you well, Sharan Pumpwell. You said that beating up women who go out drinking is a way to protect them from “sex mafias”. By standing up for women’s rights, much in vogue these days, you will surely appeal to Karnataka’s progressive voters.

If you are still part of the Whistle Podu Parishad, you are a loyalist who doesn’t switch allegiances even in the face of a two-year ban. And you are a true Royal Challenger, if you believe in the power of Anushka Sharma’s birthday.

Aside from squealing over Baby Taimur’s adorable dessert-themed playsuits, most of us don’t know anything about fashion. But on a few special nights of the year, like the Met Gala, even the most fashionably challenged among us become a leading authority on French couture.

At six, when I moved to Canada, I feared being the odd one out. I started impersonating the Canadian accent until it became real. And then we moved back to India. Once again my accent had rendered me “firang” in my homeland.

In an age where everything from sharing a hug on the metro to booking an Ola cab is political fodder, perhaps it was only a matter of time before paying for your Swiggy order would be fraught with similar tensions. Or is it already?

The new dating app comes with a built-in feature that encourages young people to go on mass candle-lit dinners with their local MLA. It’s part of the BJP’s ongoing quest to establish themselves as the party that prefers feels over facts.

When the rise of the machines becomes a reality, they will be coming for every Sharmaji ka beta – the doctor, engineer, IT professional. And the perennially stoned creative, who was always told that he would never amount to anything in life, will have the last laugh with his chai and sutta.

Kanye West has not been at his Kanye Best. His Twitter rants to cause Kanye Unrest seems to have left the world Kanye Unimpressed.

In a world where female sexuality isn’t supposed to exist, watching porn is still seen as sexual liberation. But an acknowledgement of the same desires are invalidated by the medium’s treatment of women, both on screen and behind-the-scenes. How can we celebrate our sexuality through porn while condoning a sexist, exploitative industry that functions on men’s terms?

Donald Trump’s plan to discontinue the work authorisation for H-4 means India’s daughters will be back to twiddling their thumbs, as their H-1B husbands bring home the paneer. Highly placed White House sources have suggested that it is an attempt to bolster India’s “Beti Bachao, Beti Padhao” initiative.

Ever since Milind Soman popped out of a crate and into our lives, he’s always been God’s “Made In India” gift to women. With his marriage earlier this year soaking hankies instead of panties, women have been posting images of notes with “Soman bewafa hai” scribbled on them. With a broken heart, we wish him the best on his birthday.

Modiji, you and I have many things in common: The Prime Ministerial office and silence. We are also men of vikas, who believe in economic theory. How else do you have the courage for bold ideas like economic liberalism or demonetisation?

Beyoncé Knowles casually made history by being the first black woman to headline Coachella. Surely it’s only a matter of time before an Indian act makes it to the awe-inspiring stage in the Colorado Desert?

Banking hours are engineered to be as inconvenient as possible. Why do banks close on every third-and-a-half Saturday, or whenever there is a full moon? Is this when all the bankers go and perform a ritual sacrifice to an idol of Vijay Mallya and Nirav Modi?

Here’s how BCCI can disprove those who insist that a woman’s league doesn’t make financial sense, or that women don’t have the physical prowess to match up to the testosterone-fuelled aggression we expect from the modern T20 format.

We live in a world where women are judged for everything from having periods to having emotions. The women’s bathroom is one of the few gender-exclusive places where it can all hang out – a brief but cathartic loosening of corset strings.

The H-1B used to be one of the few traits in a prospective bride or groom that the whole family could agree upon. But with all the uncertainty over H-1B, what are Indian matchmakers now looking for?

When we inevitably go for a foreign education abroad, we could be dealing with a potential shooter situation someday. Hence, it was necessary to #MarchForOurLives. And anyway, wasn’t this the hashtag of the week?

April is the cruellest month, but March isn’t far behind. As the wrath of summer hits you as unpleasantly as puberty hit Macaulay Culkin, this definitive survival kit will help you cope with the blistering heat.

As a 10-year-old I wondered if I was doing leukaemia right. I was nothing like Jamie from A Walk To Remember or any other dying girls from the movies. I couldn’t captivate hearts by singing, or look cute when chemo made me throw up every day.

In a joint statement released by the Maharashtra government and the BMC, it has come to light that their crack teams have been constantly digging roads in Mumbai since 2013 on the lookout for an alleged reserve of #AchheDin under the streets.

In 3 Storeys, Arjun Mukherjee weaves together a story of three mothers, exposes the burden of mothers who have been conditioned to sacrifice and be silenced, intertwining it with the disastrous results it has on their kids.

Shih Tzu owners never wanted a dog, but want to fulfill their longing for an expensive, sentient stuffed toy, while a husky is the canine equivalent of a BMW. Both are excellent penis substitutes with vaguely unsettling Nazi connections.

As with most of the modern world’s ills, it’s easy to blame Coachella for a dramatic shift in our Holi #aesthetic. But let’s be honest – the Holi look is all because of Facebook. And Rekha.

Justin Trudeau’s dulha-style sherwanis, the bhangra, it was a bit OTT. Looks like #ManCrushMonday is finally over?

Kentucky Fried Chicken has shut down two-thirds of its franchises. They’ve been blaming it on a supply shortage, but they’ve actually been incapacitated by an apocalyptic uprising of sentient mutant chickens, carrying out coordinated attacks in London, Paris, and Mumbai.

The world leader in sexy selfies and adorable family photos gives you tips on being picture-perfect, no matter where you are.

Black Panther transcends the stereotype of being “just” a superhero blockbuster, which is becoming an art Marvel films have started to perfect. It’s a post-colonial sci-fi saga with something important to say.

Elon Musk needs to be worried. Maruti will soon launch its Swift into space in partnership with ISRO, announced Taylor Swift after whom the vehicle is named.

Red is not recommended and yellow’s for your dirtiest fellow. On Rose Day, an updated colour guide for the millennial.

There’s a travel advisory on the Maldives and our government is asking you to put off all non-essential travel. But don’t fret, your honeymoon is totes essensh. All you need is a good bulletproof vest that matches your bikini.

Everyone has an opinion on the budget. This analysis, however, is not based on how well one understands the economy, but which community one belongs to.

As Ola goes Down Under, here’s a three-step guide on how to handle your Aussie passengers. He might call you a “mad cunt”, an insult in most countries, but in Australia, he will also give you a five-star rating and tell you that he loves you.

Arvind Subramanian’s poetic presentation of the Economic Survey featured everyone from Sunny Deol to Lewis Carroll. However, our crack team of #lit majors feel compelled to point out that he missed a few.

Of the Grammy winners this year, Bruno Mars is the only artist most Indians will recognise. But if we were to pick the winners, our top choices would’ve been “Hotel California” and “To Brazil” by Vengaboys.

The Karni Sena has been working on a press release to address all the school bus stoning and vehicle burning over Padmaavat. Please read it before they cut off their PR team’s noses.

A virginity test, as we all know, is the most important exam of a woman’s life. But what if you’ve lost/misplaced/forgotten your hymen somewhere? For the bride on a budget, we’ve compiled a list of four expert-tested hymen substitutes.

Sure, you need a group to coordinate class timings and general logistics. But you haven’t met the dratted morning people and the other types of aspiring yoginis that live inside your yoga WhatsApp group.