Kutte VS Kaminey: The Neverending Battle Between Dogs and Bikers


Kutte VS Kaminey: The Neverending Battle Between Dogs and Bikers

Illustration: Ahmed Sikander


ere’s how to ruin a good thing. You take the internet, and add YouTube commenters. You take Sholay, and add Ram Gopal Varma. Or if you’re like me, you become friends with all the stray dogs in your neighbourhood – and then get yourself a bike. It’s true, dogs are man’s best friends, and a biker’s worst enemies. No number of treats, cuddles, and friendly greetings will save you from a barking, snapping fury if you commit the sin of riding past a bored dog with nothing better to do. I’ve started taking a roundabout route home, rather than face the nakabandi my four-legged former friends have set up on my street.

It wasn’t always this bad. Among the strays of Churchgate, I used to be more popular than Pedigree. Rani, Tiger, Kali, Pirate, Bhalu, and other strays of every stripe and colour recognised me from a distance, and once upon a time they greeted me with wagging tails instead of snarling mouths. I’d feed them Marie biscuits during the day and chicken bones at night. Our equation remained hunky-dory until the day they saw me riding my bike, after which I became the Rahul Gandhi to their BJP supporters. Our first clash was the scariest, because the traitors Kali and Pirate were the ringleaders of the pack that swarmed out from behind parked cars and chased me down the street like I wasn’t their old buddy, but a strange cat.