You’re not a cat mom, dog dad, cat person, or even an animal person. You’re just an empty person, trying to fill a void in your life by forcefully trying to rid an animal of its basic instincts.

Two students from a medical college in Kolkata killed 16 puppies and paraded their carcasses for all to see, as some kind of a trophy. But what probably makes the incident even more disturbing, is that the people who are justifying the murder are as vocal as those condemning the act.

Avni’s fate was sealed the moment she first came into conflict with humans. But there is no glory to be gained in hunting endangered animals, even if they’re supposedly man-eaters, and each life lost is a sign of the failure of our conservation efforts.

We are under attack. Almost every minute a bomb goes off. From the window I can see children with guns and soldiers running around yelling code words at each other, “Happy Diwali! Happy Diwali!”

Dog is a man’s best friend, and a biker’s worst enemy. Stories about being chased by dogs is to motorcyclists what having famous parents is to Bollywood debutantes – Can you even call yourself the genuine article if you don’t have any?

I am surprised at the number of perfectly rational people who display phobias like the fear of household lizards and heights. And I was perfectly rational too… until a bat entered my room, looking like a mini dragon, while I watched Game of Thrones.

The humble rat has proved that he is a Mumbaikar to the core. He’s got it all – the die-hard spirit, the indifference to unhygienic surroundings, the apathy to the din of construction and an immune system that quaffs anything edible, and lives to tell the tale.

I took in a two-month-old spaniel to impress my girlfriend when I was 16. Sure, that relationship ended soon after. But Zippy has been my pillow, a silent yet effective shoulder to lean on. And seeing her age, is more painful that any heartbreak I’ve ever experienced.

Some of Mumbai’s many stories reside with its stray dogs. A new picture book on our canine compatriots, gloriously named Tamatar or Periappa or Whiskey, tells us a lot about the city’s streeties – and a fair bit about us.

Dogorrhea is a medical condition that affects one in every twenty humans on the planet. If you are a dog owner, you are most likely already infected. Dogorrhea makes people believe that anyone who isn’t besotted with canines is an asshole. And anyone who isn’t a canine is an idiot.