News Weed: Mutant Chickens Revolt; KFC Crisis Worsens

Satire

News Weed: Mutant Chickens Revolt; KFC Crisis Worsens

Illustration: Shruti Yatam

M

umbai, February 20: KFC has been shutting down its restaurants due to a chicken shortage, which they blame on new supplier DHL. However, it has now come to light that the issue was not a mere shipping inefficiency, but an orchestrated uprising of sentient mutant chickens.

Our sources in the food industry tell us that it was only a matter of time. Concerns about reckless chicken husbandry have been growing worldwide. According to a recent report by the Bureau of Investigative Journalism, Indian chickens are routinely administered the emergency antibiotic colistin to promote growth and prevent infection. Now all this injecting has turned against the injectors. Reports of mutated birds carrying out coordinated attacks have been on the rise.  

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