News Weed: BJP Ties Up with Facebook to Date Karnataka Youth

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News Weed: BJP Ties Up with Facebook to Date Karnataka Youth

Illustration: Juergen D

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an Francisco/Bengaluru, May 4: In an attempt to create “meaningful relationships” with voters ahead of the Karnataka elections, the BJP has tied up with Facebook to launch a dating app, a source told News Weed. With the assembly polls only days away, the BJP has been desperate to one-up the incumbent Congress, confirmed the source, who wore a Nehru jacket and a Gandhi cap.

The app uses a simple algorithm to determine user preferences that can lead to meaningful relationships. By getting users to tell them whether they prefer Marvel or DC, chocolate or vanilla, Sri Ram Sene or having a beer, the BJP can tailor their approach to different demographics. The BJP, in an ongoing quest to establish itself as the party that prefers feels over facts, also aims to cater to the varied emotional needs of potential voters.

The dating app comes with a built-in feature that, for an extra ₹200 every month,  encourages people between the age of 20 and 35 years to go on mass candle-lit dinners with their local MLA. Besides being chauffeured around the district by a man named Raju, you will be allowed unrestricted access to any poll-booth in the country! Sources confirm that a total of 0 users have signed up for the service so far.

The announcement of the new dating app has created shockwaves around the world. Shares of Match.com, Tinder’s parent company, have been in free fall, and thousands of lonely, DTF hearts are hopeful once more. It has been met with plenty of criticism as well, with some questioning why Facebook would venture into such a sensitive space after fielding massive privacy scandals, and some asking why the BJP would think it was a good idea for potential candidates to mass-date voters.

No doubt the BJP is trying to keep up with Congress, who have also made use of data-scraping tactics and recruited Cambridge Analytica, the data collection firm that helped US President Donald Trump to victory and influenced the Brexit Leave result. Unfortunately, the firm’s record of success has not extended to the Congress Party. When faced with the prospect of furthering Rahul Gandhi’s cause, the company was forced to admit defeat and recently shut shop altogether.

By getting users to tell them whether they prefer Marvel or DC, chocolate or vanilla, Sri Ram Sene or having a beer, the BJP can tailor their approach to different demographics.

But the data procured by Congress is still likely to have far-reaching consequences. According to a high-level Facebook employee, who chose to remain anonymous, Zuckerberg was stricken with remorse upon learning that the Congress had been able to get data from unsuspecting Facebook users.

“We didn’t take a broad enough view of our responsibility, and that was a big mistake. It was my mistake, and I’m sorry,” he said, during an emotional rollercoaster of a press conference. Other sources indicated that Zuckerberg just wanted to reach five heartfelt apologies in a row so that the mothership would allow him to remain among the humans. However, News Weed was not able to independently verify this dispatch.

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