Aadhaar Battle: The Backbenchers Win This Round

Pop Culture

Aadhaar Battle: The Backbenchers Win This Round

Illustration: Palak Bansal/Arré

 

A

fter sending out a million individual reminders to people to link their Aadhaar cards to their their bank accounts, PAN cards, and Hrithik Roshan wall-posters, the Government suffered a setback as the Supreme Court on Tuesday extended indefinitely the March 31 deadline for mandatory linking of Aadhaar with bank accounts and mobile phones. 

The news must have come as a massive shock to one section of society: the I-Came-First-Ma’am people.

The ICFM personality type applies to organised people, the ones who finished homework at school itself. They’re the ones who, as adults, are excited about paperwork. They spend their time re-arranging files in alphabetical order instead of just throwing them in the bin like the rest of us, and often find that they have zero unread messages on their phones. On paper, ICFM people are far superior to the unorganised guy wearing two socks on his left leg and going commando on the right.

We can’t help but let out a slow, evil laugh at the ICFM type today. This time, the squares who went ahead and linked their Aadhaar cards to their neural networks because, “teacher said to do,” are starting to feel the pressure. Some of the more eager ones went ahead and linked their numbers before the Prime Minister even had to say “mitron”. Others succumbed to the incessant messaging from the telecom companies, banks, WhatsApp forwards, and distant relatives with agendas. Now they’re stuck in limbo while the government decides whether biometric data is actually a safe thing for them to keep.

The lazy procrastinators have come out of this verdict on top. We deleted all Aadhar messages on sight, ignored pretty severe warnings that their bank accounts would be frozen, and faced a barrage of badly shot “how to” videos urging them to go ahead with the linking before it was too late. Much like how we studied in school, on the eve of the exam.

For once, things have worked out for us.

Comments