To Facebook or Not

Humour

To Facebook or Not

Illustration: Namaah

M

y most active verb starts with F_ and ends with _K
Duchovny’s got jack on my 26 times a day
F-SPOT
To Facebook or Not

First rule of FB, get loads and loads of likes
When ISIS’s in crisis, they post heads on spikes
They get A LOT
To Facebook or Not

Dumb rule of thumb, for a bunch of thumb-ups?
Hate on the great debate – are kitties cuter or pups
NOT your TOT
To Facebook or Not

The trouble with FB is the things that it’s seen
I post this #thisishowiwokeup, screen shows ads for Maybelline
It’s a PLOT
To Facebook or Not

To decline or accept dad’s friend request?
But my most liked pic shows a wee bit of breast
Just a JOT
To Facebook or Not

That hottie from the party writes “luv u on 1 syt”
I’ll block the stalker, but may I set his syntax right?
You said WHAT?
To Facebook or Not

Had an IRL fight with my most-tagged mate
Do I unfriend? Or do I deactivate?
It’s FRAUGHT
To Facebook or Not

Should I time-hop that photo from nine years ago?
Even though it’s with a sop that I no longer know?
But I look HOT
To Facebook or Not

Joined this exclusive event, 4,000 invites sent
Six gal pals and I, got all gussied up and went
We’re the LOT
To Facebook or Not

That’s 43 tabs opened from my newsfeed
Please crash browser, I don’t want to read
Tho’ I OUGHT
To Facebook or Not

That’s 43 creep messages in my Others Folder
Less than half from last year; makes me feel older
Age ROT
To Facebook or Not

Read a post that’s supposed to get me all angry
But man, this beef ban, just making me hungry
Damn the POT
To Facebook or Not

Every time you log on, is like Philosophy 101
Did you really get your jog on, if no one “liked” your run?
Fitbit BOUGHT
To Facebook or Not

Look, FB schooled me on the feminist struggle
It’s also how I know I’m pure blood, not Muggle
Say VOLDEMORT!
To Facebook or Not

You’ll only find out what’s on my mind
When public opinion has covered my behind
Death to THOUGHT
To Facebook or Not

Is Zucker the Berg by which ideas sink
Or did he hit the mark by friend-sourcing our think?
Our privacy in the POT?
To Facebook or Not

Remember the IPO, and its shy stock price?
O righteously so, I denounced it thrice
Now wish I’d bought
Facebook, turned out to be hot.

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