The Predictably Short Life of a New Year Resolution

Humour

The Predictably Short Life of a New Year Resolution

Illustration: Akshita Monga

J

anuary 10 is the day 95 per cent of the New Year resolutions will die.

The death will be a slow and agonising one because it began on the day of the birth… the day the intention was born. That day started out like any other. As the resolution-maker went about his business, fitting his magnificent arse on the ridiculously small airplane seat on the way to his holiday, his fellow traveller sighed loudly bringing home a distinctly Nicole Arbour feeling. Then when he reached home with a bag full of dirty clothes and love handles that belonged to an oversized urn, Vogue or something immensely trendier declared that love handles are injurious to attraction and must be barred on Tinder in 2018.

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