Have a Save Flight: Welcome to Your Low-Cost Carrier, Suckers

Humour

Have a Save Flight: Welcome to Your Low-Cost Carrier, Suckers

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

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elcome to your short-haul international flight on a low-cost carrier that you purchased because you’re either (i) poor or (ii) stingy AF. We know many of you have flown with us before. We hope our prices put you in enough of a moral dilemma to keep flying with us, even though we make you miserable.

Our flight in every city departs from the oldest and most shed-like terminal. Please find your way to this terminal (which is also the only one where the city trains don’t stop) three hours in advance because that’s when we close the check-in counters. Please don’t try to check in online, our site does not work and when it does, it will request money from you. Once you put your credit card details in, it will spasm briefly and then tell you, “All international flight check-ins are handled by our capable ground staff at the airport.”

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