What We Should Thank Delhi’s Smog For

Humour

What We Should Thank Delhi’s Smog For

Illustration: Akshita Monga

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veryone is complaining about Delhi’s air quality and poor visibility, as if the city had things worth seeing. Delhi might have been pretty once, but it has been made significantly less pretty by the sheer number of humans that populate it. Try taking picture in front of the Qutub Minar and 27 humans will automatically manifest. But not anymore! Thank the smog, there’s no problem called the photobomb.

And so what if the Qutub Minar itself is not visible? You can’t have everything in life now, can you? Earlier, you’d spend ten minutes trying to perfect the hazy filter on your pictures before you could ’gram it. Now, you can get the haze, and still post an image with #NoFilter. Thank the smog for that.

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Kids have been granted holidays and can spend all their time outdoors, playing hide and seek in the open. They no longer even need a kambal to carry out kambal kutayi. Thank the smog for that. Women have been granted freedom from eve-teasers because men can no longer creep women out by staring at them. Thank the smog for that.

In the smog in Delhi, there is no garbage. There is no open defecation. There is no illegal construction. It’s not in your face. And there’s no road rage. Because what you can’t see, you can’t yell at. Thank the smog for that.

We’ve been trying to get Mumbai to turn into Shanghai, but what we don’t realise is that the smog has turned Delhi into Beijing. Our Air Quality Index kicks their cheap Chinese Air Index’s ass. Thank the smog for that.

In India, nothing lasts for a long time, whether it’s the roof of your building or the expensive rear-view mirror in your car. Everything will go away but at least the smog, we can safely say, is here to stay!

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