Bye, Bye IPL. Come Back with Better Names Next Season

Humour

Bye, Bye IPL. Come Back with Better Names Next Season

Illustration: Saachi Mehta/ Arré

I

t’s that time of the year when there is longing, expectation, and anticipation in the air. The monsoon is on its way in and the Indian Premier League on its way out. After today, no more will cries of “YES Bank Maximum”, “Karbonn Kamaal Katch” or “Gajodhar Piles Clinic Caught Behind” emanate from our television sets. Pubs will no longer shove IPL happy hours down our throats, and we will get a much-needed break from Virat Kohli and his wonder hand. But most of all, we will finally begin to let those ghastly team names fade from our collective memory.

With all the crapload of cash the league has invested in buying semi-decent players and albino cheerleaders, one would think the IPL would shell a few pennies to come up with names that don’t sound like they’ve been coined by a three-year-old. I feel especially bad for my hometown, Hyderabad. It’s bad enough that the city has to contend with disappearing lakes, pollution of the Musi river, ocular assaults by pink banners, and inadequate public transport. Now they have to deal with a cricket team that sounds like a bunch of coffeewallas at Nampally station aggressively selling their watered-down product. Nothing good can ever come out of product plugs in a team name, as they may discover on the field today.

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