The Many Kinds of Trolls Who Live on Ameesha Patel’s Instagram

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The Many Kinds of Trolls Who Live on Ameesha Patel’s Instagram

Illustration: Sushant Ahire

W

e don’t really need Halloween in India because the real horror lives in the comments section of any online journal. In these white spaces, live the truly black monsters and it takes one peek at Ameesha Patel’s cleavage on Instagram to get them ready for the party.

Ameesha Patel, owner of her own cleavage, is apparently not entitled to it, according to douchebags on the internet. They consider “having a body”, wearing “revealing clothes” and “disrespecting culture” a crime against God and Bharat Mata, the latter being a much more serious charge.

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Here are the five different types of cretins who make the internet such a joyous place.

The Vanilla Douchebag: This is the person who doesn’t comment; he just delivers judgement. And it is usually just one word like “cheap”, “vulgar”, “disgusting”. He makes his declaration in a sea of way more innovative comments and disappears, believing that his one word will change women forever, and women will now live by his standards of expectations and moral codes.

The Outright Pervert: This is the person who expresses himself in the most artistic way possible. Enhancing his visual and graphical commentary by carefully chosen emojis. This man could have been an artist, a perverted Van Gogh, if you will.

Ameesha Patel

Ameesha Patel, owner of her own cleavage, is apparently not entitled to it, according to douchebags on the internet.

Image credit: Instagram

The Inception Creep: This is the dude who understands the reality that his comment will probably never be read by the actress, so he doesn’t spend energy on that pursuit. Hate is irrelevant if it is ignored. Instead, he starts making lewd comments at other women in the comment section and gains solace from the fact that he knows at least someone’s life is disturbed.

The Gyaanbaaz: When an actress posts a gym selfie, she isn’t asking for work, relationship, life, or financial advice but that never stops some people from imparting their wisdom anyway. People love giving advice in our country. Right from what kind of movies she should do, to clothes she should wear, and theorems on photo angles, the Gyaanbaaz, though annoying, is the conservative parent of the comment section and must be respected.

The Accidental Troll: This is the person who doesn’t even realise the fact that he is trolling someone. In his mind, he is being merely polite and helpful. Like @manishrukh on Twitter, who replied to Ameesha Patel with: “I appreciate your cleavage in this age. Ignore trollers.” Ignorance, is indeed bliss.

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