The Cutting Edge of Razors

Gender

The Cutting Edge of Razors

Illustration: Cleon Dsouza

T

he earliest humans kept all their body hair, since they hadn’t discovered clothes yet.
Once ice age passed and the embarrassment kicked in, clothes became a must and facial hair a liability, as water would collect on the strands and increase the chance of beard bro getting a pretty bad frostbite.

At the time, a pretty bad frostbite, along with almost everything else, would lead to a violent death. So humans figured it was probably time they started shaving excess hair. Since they hadn’t yet considered that a wheel might be useful thing, they had to resort to some primitive techniques. They used clamshells as tweezers to yank out whatever excess hair they could find.

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Life moved on. We evolved from the Paleo diet and gave up the clamshells in favour of going to the store and buying pretty cool razors with bells and whistles such as flexi-balls and whatnot. But the art of shaving didn’t jut evolve overnight. In fact it took several thousand years for King Gillette to include a disposal razor into the market, and another 70 years for people to figure out that the two-blade razor was not the pinnacle of the razor’s evolution. Now we’re up to five-blade razors but having a 20-blade razor by 2090 doesn’t really seem like the next big thing, when it comes to dealing with our facial hair.

The razor, much like the mobile phone, is a technology that has scope for so much more. So the question that boggles human civilisation is what’s next?

Imagine for a second that this isn’t the 21st century and you aren’t using blades to make holes in your denims, and travel a bit to the future. Here your razor has sensors and an RFID device in the handle. This would allow it to take samples of your skin cells to identify possible infections and diseases. The information is relayed to a phone-based application. Throw that apple away, the doctor’s now on Google play.
 

Other technology like the Internet of Things can aid this revolution in razors – the possibilities are limitless.

Meanwhile, as your skin infection heals, you realise that you don’t have much water in your tank because the world has barely any water to offer. In a situation like that, the entire process of shaving has to be streamlined. This is where innovations like the Bonsai come into play. The Bonsai is an accessory to the razor that uses minimal water to create a high-powered jet spray that cleans off all those little scraps of hair that collect on your razor. It is estimated to save 99 per cent of the water the average person uses when shaving with a running tap. Any one who has seen the movie Mad Max should require no further extrapolation.

As the water dries up around you, we have reached far enough into the future to have light sabers, and other laser weapons. So it’s only natural that we insert that technology into a razor. This shouldn’t be confused with the laser surgery that removes all hair. It instead melts off the hair for a smoother feel. It also claims to end razor burns, skin irritation, and nicks, so companies that make tissue stand to go into immense loss. Other technology like the Internet of Things can aid this revolution in razors – the possibilities are limitless. Trust Gillette to jump on the bandwagon.

And maybe one day, shaving technology will evolve to the point where the razor will come fitted with an alarm clock to remind you that beards are out of fashion. Heed that warning, dear beard bro, and shave that damn chin pelt off!

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