Vijay Mallya Does a Kim K! A DisArré Exclusive Report

DisArré

Vijay Mallya Does a Kim K! A DisArré Exclusive Report

Illustration: Namaah/Arré

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arbados: After enthusiastic forays in the beverage, aviation, and sports industries, former Indian liquor baron and sugar daddy to scores of young models, Vijay Mallya says he’s just getting started and the world hasn’t seen the last of him yet. He spoke to us after reports surfaced of him buying the Barbados Tridents, a cricket team playing in the Caribbean Premier League. The kicker is, Mallya purchased the team for a mere $100. When asked about this, Mallya said, “What’s the big deal? I told them who I was, they offered me the team for $100 upfront with a long-term payment plan for the remaining $1,999,900 required to run the team.” When asked how he intended to pay off this amount, Mallya grinned and said, “It’s pronounced Maal-liya, not Maal-diya.”

Speaking to Arré, from his new yacht, Hahaha Suckers, Mallya said, “Everyone faces a career dilemma at some point in their lives. Fortunately, mine happened while I am still in my prime.” Asked about his troubles with Indian banks and lenders, the business leader had this to say: “What loans? All I did was borrow some cash for some Scotch and a few grams of Colombia’s finest. Just because I’m famous, the issue has been blown out of proportion.”

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Mallya might have been genuinely mistaken, but with Indian banks seeing red over unpaid dues, the question arises: Just how much Scotch did Mallya buy? The Indian government, however, has taken the opposite view. Mallya has been added to the list of Indians in need of repatriation under the government’s Ghar Wapas Lao Choro Ko Yojna (GWLCKY) which has been trying in vain to get Lalit Modi back home.

But Mallya is not too worried. Right now, he is busy with his next big venture. Taking inspiration from his favourite television show, Downton Abbey, Vijay Mallya, who already has an estate in England, plans to change his name to Victor Grantham and plunge into British reality television with a show titled Getting Down With the Granthams, a spin-off of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

At last count, three studios had shown disinterest in the concept.

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