Hardik Rajgor

Hardik is a Mumbaikar in his 20s. That could be his age, weight or waist size. Life is miserable, he likes to look at the lighter side of it.

  • monsoontrekkingraindirtmudphotographforestmountainshillsyouthinstagram Khatron Ke Khiladi, Keechad Edition: What Every Monsoon Trek Feels Like

    With the monsoon, comes a surfeit of #pluviophile Tinder bios. You, who takes an Uber to the ATM a couple of kilometres away, impulsively sign up for a 15-kilometre trek on a rainy Sunday. Because the exhibition of your love for the rain is incomplete without a selfie atop Harishchandragadh. What could possibly go wrong?

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  • football Lionel Messi: Argentina Ka Sachin Tendulkar

    When Sachin didn’t do well, the Indian team would invariably fold like a pack of cards, and the situation isn’t too different for Lionel Messi, Argentina’s all-time top goal scorer. When Messi has a quiet game, Argentina looks more disjointed than India’s finance ministry.

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  • ArvindSubramanian LEAKED! Arvind Subramanian’s Resignation Mail

    In a letter addressed to the finance minister, Arvind Subramanian writes, “Now is a good time to look back at my memorable, if patchy, tenure as chief economic advisor. Yes, I’d have loved it if we weren’t forced to do yoga every morning. On the bright side, it has made me fitter, although I wish I could say the same about the shape of our economy.”

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  • EnglandvsAustralia Does England’s 481 Against Australia Sound the Death Knell for Bowling?

    Cricket is no longer a contest between bat and ball. It’s Virat Kohli vs Steve Smith vs Joe Root vs Kane Williamson. Bowlers do not exist to create their own legacies, they merely exist as a hindrance to a batsman’s legacy.

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  • MoSalah Mo Salah – 1, Islamophobia – 0

    As world leaders advocate stricter immigration policies and hostility toward Muslims around the globe rises, that one of the world’s most loved footballers should be a Muslim, is a sweet irony. Mohamed Salah is not merely an icon of the game, but as Liverpool fans call him – a gift from Allah.

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  • spain What a (S)PAIN! Inside the Mind of Manager Fernando Hierro

    I have a game plan against Portugal, and his name is Sergio Ramos. I’m not going to go into much detail, but I’ll just whisper “Ronaldo” in his ears before kick-off and he’ll know what to do.

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  • FIFAWorldCup A Cheat Sheet to Survive FIFA World Cup 2018

    The next 30 days are going to be all about football and the World Cup. So even if you don’t find the game beautiful, you need to fit in. Pick a top team and pretend to support it. Do not say things like “I think The Netherlands or Italy will win the Cup” and “The Mexico team is building a wall. Lol.”

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  • college First Day of College: Expectations vs Reality

    Everyone remembers their first day of college, when you walked in, the epitome of cool – i.e. a sasta rip-off of Honey Singh who is desperate to fit in. But by the time you’re ready to leave, you know you’ll miss the little things, like the Xerox shop where you got chocolates instead of change.

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  • Welcome to the World of News as Entertainment

    With journalistic credibility at an all-time low, I now look at news channels the same way my parents look at my career - with zero expectations.

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  • Excel Excel in the Spreadsheets: An Accountant’s Wet Dream

    In the world of finance, Advanced Excel is the only thing that will get you respect. For accountants everywhere, Excel is not the class nerd; it is Clark Kent. It can also help further your love life – because Excel in the spreadsheets, is better than coffee in the streets.

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  • SSCResults A Timeline of Exam Results: Fret, Fake Confidence, Flip Out

    To all the poor sods expecting their results this exam season, you have our sympathy. We get it. A two-digit magical number is now going to determine the rest of your life: Whether you get into the best college, land a good job, get a marriage proposal, or want to go to Jupiter someday.

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  • Sterlite Ignore, Then Attack: How to Tackle an Indian Protest

    The state has developed a rather incompetent manual on How to Respond to Protests, which was applied to the Sterlite stir in Tuticorin. First ignore an agitation, then try to contain it. And after attempts to shut a protest fails, bring out the big guns.

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  • conferencecall The Anatomy of Every Office Conference Call

    The result of every office conference call is like the Karnataka elections. After spending hours of time and energy on debating a subject, you reach a fractured verdict.

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  • NawazSharif Inside the Mind of Nawaz Sharif

    Uneasy lies the head that once wore the crown. As if it weren’t difficult enough to once run Pakistan, I now feel scared in my own country over my 2008 Mumbai Attack remarks. I am now receiving the only thing that is worse than hate in Pakistan – love from India.

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  • DJ Why It’s No Fun Being DJ Wale Babu On a Road Trip

    Being the car DJ is like being a parent. No matter what you do, it’s never going to be enough. If you play pop music, you’ll be asked if you’re 12 years old. Try playing classic rock, you’ll be asked if you’re 100. Crank up some Arijit Singh, you’ll be asked if you broke up recently.

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  • Flipkart Inside The Mind of Flipkart’s Sachin Bansal

    I fondly remember the early days of Flipkart, when we delivered books on our scooters. People were still reading books instead of listicles and the traffic at Silk Board junction was not yet frozen. But now I have a billion dollars, so I’ll just sit back and watch the street fight between Amazon and Walmart.

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  • thunderstorm Kabhi Thunderstorm, Kabhie Flood: The Making of an Indian Apocalypse Movie

    The Bollywood apocalypse movie begins with a MET warning, but given its previous history with predictions, no one believes them. This doomsday scenario and everyone’s complete ignorance to it, is articulated through a Malaika Arora item song about living life to the fullest.

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  • Kathua How to “Whatabout” Your Way Around Every Debate

    The Kathua rape and murder has illustrated once again that whataboutery is our national pastime. Social media is rife with arguments that refuse to acknowledge it as a communal attack, because “where were you in 1984”? The goal of all whataboutery is to never get to the bottom of difficult questions – and to never ask the right ones.

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  • Hardik I’m Hardik and I’m Not Always Aroused

    I received sex education long before the rest of my classmates, when a senior pointed out what my name “actually” meant. Dick references became an integral part of my life like diabetes in a Gujarati meal. I do believe names shape your personality – mine taught me a sense of humour.

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  • Goodboy Why Good Indian Boys Never Become Good Indian Men

    The metrics for being a good child are different for Indian boys and girls. There is a soft bigotry of low expectations for boys, and a very high degree of expectations from a girl. By 10 years of age, my sister was equipped to survive a season on LOST – but I was the good boy who didn’t need to do anything more than tuck his legs in.

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  • SalmanKhan Tiger Qaidi Hai: Salman Khan’s First Night in Prison

    Salman Khan walks into Jodhpur Central Jail and bumps into another “celebrity inmate” – Asaram Bapu. Bhaijaan greets him with a namaste, Bapu turns around and says, “I’m a virgin too.”

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  • cashless Are Cashless Wallets Making You Poor?

    I lose control of myself to another entity when I’m using cashless payments. The real me knows that that gola-maker is a reckless purchase, but the cashless wallet version says, “Wouldn’t a kala-khatta gola be great in this heat?”

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  • FinancialYearEnd Fuck the Financial Year End: Only Accountant Bros Will Get It

    Remember that one house in the building that was lit up the entire night during board exams? Those kids have now grown up to be accountants at multinational companies. And the financial year end brings out the worst in them.

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  • SteveSmith Inside the Mind of Steve Smith

    If there’s one lesson I’ve learnt from this ball-tampering fiasco, it is that you can never trust these interns. You had one job, Bancroft!

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  • FakeNews Fake News and the Case of the Internet Police Gone Rogue

    In the Cambridge Analytica exposé, Facebook has been negligent with sensitive data. Google was fined €2.42 billion by the EU for manipulating search engine results to favour its own shopping service. Do they then have a moral right to carry out the function of being the internet police?

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  • Facebook Apocalypse Now: How Do We Survive a Post-Facebook World?

    Can you imagine a world without Facebook? I worry about the extreme consequences of this event, for the timeline of my life would be ruined if Facebook had to deactivate its account.

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  • Happiness Welcome to the North Korea of Happiness: Be Cheerful or Die Trying

    A manufactured sense of happiness is pervasive these days. On social media in the form of #HeartReactsOnly and #MyHappyPlace and #LoveMyLife. It is this constant reminder of how I’m not leading a happy life that is making me… unhappy.

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  • Soap Kyunki Shampoo Bhi Kabhi Simple Tha

    Each time I go for a shower, I feel like I have entered an examination hall of cosmetic care. WTF is a “Strawberry and Cream Silky Shampoo”? Is it meant to be eaten or used on the hair? What about the egg-nourishing conditioner? Can a vegetarian use it?

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  • FinanceBill What’s Shorter than a Mum-Pune flight? Passing the Finance Bill

    The Finance Bill and Appropriation Bill were passed in the Lok Sabha on Wednesday in a little over 30 minutes. I spent more time choosing between a paneer roll and vegetable sandwich on a flight from Mumbai to Pune than our elected representatives did, about money that would affect the lives of 130 crore people.

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  • PramodMuthalik Inside the Mind of Pramod Muthalik

    My name has been cleared in the Mangalore pub case, but I continue to suffer the psychological after-effects of this smear campaign. For instance, I get really mad when I enter pubs. They are dull and dark and remind me of my political career.

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  • Farmeragitation Loan-Waiver Schemes Got 99 Problems. And Implementation is One

    As state after state goes to polls, the demand for farm-loan waivers tends to get louder. Governments cave in, fearing political defeat. But what makes good political sense, rarely makes for good moral and economic sense.

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  • womenscricket Should Women Cricketers Get Equal Pay? The Economic Argument

    While the Man of the Match in the men's 2016 Asia Cup won 7,500 USD, the women's captain Mithali Raj received a prize of only 250 USD. Why does the women's game receive the stepchild treatment in the same tournament?

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  • Statue Inside the Mind of the Sardar Patel Statue

    It’s the worst time to be a statue in India. On odd days, we love them, on even days, we hate them. The downfall of Lenin and Periyar has Sardar Patel’s Statue of Unity exclaiming, “#GoBustOrGoHome”.

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  • Exam “Science, Commerce Ya Arts?” Where Teenage Dreams Go to Die

    It’s that time of the year when every Std X student is asked a question he has no answer to: Science, Commerce, or Arts? They are also subjected to educational stereotypes – the geeks take Science, the average guy takes Commerce, and the losers opt for Arts.

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  • Holi “Holi Pe Kya Pehenoge?” How to Win this Debate with Mom

    The golden rule is everything you wear for Holi – from your chaddi to your ego – must be on the verge of disposal. Remember, moms are complete non-believers when it comes to the “daag acche hai” theory.

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  • AirConditioner The 21st Century’s Cold War is the Office Air Conditioner

    In a world where Google can provide the answer to every question, why can’t we get the office air conditioner to work for everyone? Why does the AC stand in the way of complete collegial harmony?

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  • Mehnat Desi Parent Trap: “Abhi Mehnat Kar Lo, You Can Enjoy Later”

    “Abhi mehnat kar lo, baad mein aish hai” is the original Fake News of the world. Don’t fall for it.

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  • NiravModi Nirav Modi’s Honest Letter to Punjab National Bank

    Dear PNB, we were in a steady relationship for seven years and now you’ve broken my heart. You’ve destroyed my brand faster than Salman Khan managed to destroy Vivek Oberoi’s acting career.

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  • scam Haar Kar Jeetne Wale Ko Scamster Kehte Hain

    Why do people lead stressful lives, work 24X7, ignoring their loved ones? Obviously, for you to be able to take a huge loan from a bank, never return that money, and party with Chris Gayle in Jamaica. Hard work is for suckers, real men work smart.

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  • The 11300 Crore-Rupee Question: Who Pays for These Financial Frauds?

    Hint: It’s NEVER the men in the middle of financial storms who pay up.

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  • SSC SSC Students, the Pyjama Chaaps of the School Hierarchy System

    I am an SSC student, the lowest rung in the social hierarchy of the school system. While ICSE and CBSE students studied French and German, we were struggling with Marathi barakhadi. They were veer bahadur Rajput boys, we were Model ke pyjama chaaps.

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  • CV Pimp My Résumé: The Lies You Can Get Away With on Your CV

    To get the attention of your employer make sure your résumé stands out like Ranveer Singh at an award show. And if you graduated from a Lovely University it’s best to mention LP University on your CV. Ambiguity, they say, is better than embarrassment.

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  • HipsterRestaurant When Did We Stop Eating Food and Start Eating Ambience for Dinner?

    Gone are the days of good old steamed idlis and paneer-capsicum pizza. Today restaurants that serve pav bhaji fondue and red velvet dhokla flourish. It doesn’t matter if the food tastes awful. Just like our lives online, it is only important that the food we eat looks great.

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  • Budget Modicare Steals the Show in Jaitley’s Budget Raja

    After two consecutive flops “Demonetisation Mana Hai” and “GST Zinda Hai”, Arun Jaitley is hoping his next film “Budget Raja” will appeal to the masses. We’ll give it three stars but will know the exact box office collections only in 2019.

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  • Hindi My Bambaiyya Hindi is Better Than Your North-Indian Hindi

    Every Mumbaikar knows a rickshawallah won’t look at you unless you address him as “boss”; no one ever questions the use of “rapchik” as a compliment. It wasn’t until I went to Delhi that I realised why I’ve always fared 37/100 in my Hindi paper.

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  • DrugPeddler Breaking Good: The “Drug Peddler” Who Filed IT Returns Worth 40 Lakh

    One might think the construction worker who filed an IT return, did something stupid. He could have just carried on with his illegal business and no one would ever have known. But I think he is on to something big.

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  • More Family on Facebook? Don’t do it Mark!

    Seriously Mark, if I wanted more personal conversations about Rekha’s saree at the Filmfare awards, I wouldn’t be browsing Facebook on my phone at the dinner table.

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  • PadmaavatReady Are You Padmaavat-Ready?

    As the most hyped film of the year releases, I am going to watch Padmaavat on principle. But the question worrying me the most is: After all the hype, what if I were risking my life to watch a movie that turned out to be a three-hour snooze fest?

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  • CAResult Kitne Attempts Huye? What Failing CA Exams 8 Times Taught Me About Life

    Failure is a bit like watching porn, the first time is the hardest. Then comes a time when you can count your CA marks on your fingers, but need a calculator to count your attempts. Through this cycle, you get prepared for life.

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  • MakarSankranti Makar Sankranti: Gujarati Mardi Gras Minus the Swag

    My father has two personalities. One reserved for the rest of the year and one for Makar Sankranti, when he goes from Bruce Wayne to full-on Batman, patang and phirki in tow.

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  • Aadhaar Aadhaar Kiya Toh Darna Kya?

    I’m in a complicated relationship with Aadhaar. When we first met, we “linked” instantly. But now she’s just outright intimidating – setting arbitrary deadlines and threatening me with consequences for missing them.

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  • LaluFodderScam The Fodder Scam Explained With Ice Cream

    The ₹950-crore fodder scam is termed as large-scale embezzlement of government treasury funds given to non-existent companies for purchase and supply of cattle fodder. That sounds complex, but for Lalu Prasad Yadav it was as simple as stealing money from the family piggy bank.

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  • TrumpTwitter Could Donald Trump’s Tweets Trigger World War III?

    We’ve come to a point where the planet is now at the mercy of Donald Trump and Kim Jong-un, two individuals with funny haircuts and terrifying personalities, who have access to nuclear weapons. How did we get here?

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  • 2018 What to Look Forward to in 2018

    So much happened during the last year, that 2018 promises to keep it interesting. The election circus will start, Virat Kohli will be accused of being “distracted” by his wedding, and Padmavati might even release.

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  • MumbaiKamalaMills Nope, Mumbaila BMC Var Bharosa Nahi

    If Facebook were to make a year-end review video for the BMC, it would have a really distressing story to tell. This year, we’ve had a doctor fall into a manhole and lose his life, the Elphinstone station stampede, multiple deaths due to potholes, and now the horrendous Kamala Mills fire.

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  • NewYear When New Year’s Was About Award Shows & Home-made Pizza

    Back in the day, families gathered around the TV to watch Filmfare Awards on New Year’s eve, while feasting on pav bhaji. Today, the cult around the New Year party has changed drastically. No matter where you live, there will be a party within a 100-metre radius.

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  • MumbaiACTrain Is Mumbai Ready for the AC Local?

    Mumbaikars will no longer be able to jump into the AC local before it comes to a halt at the platform as its doors will be shut. This is a great loss to the city’s cultural life.

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  • OfficeSecretSanta Office Secret Santa is Here to Sleigh You

    Secret Santa is a certainty in most offices, next only to death and taxes. Some of you will draw the name of your crush and break the ₹1,000 limit, some of you will recycle your Diwali dry-fruit hamper before it expires.

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  • terribletuesday Terrible Tuesday, the Worst Day of the Week

    Tuesday is the worst day of the week, not Monday. If Monday is Trump, Tuesday is Kim Jong-un.

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  • RahulGandhi Inside the Mind of Rahul Gandhi

    What a stressful time it has been for the Congress President, what with all the Gujarat campaigning, the party elections, the fracas over his religion, and the dratted jokes that never stop coming.

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  • GujaratElection How to Vote Like a Gujju

    As I got ready to head to the polling booth, I saw on TV that the Prime Minister was heading to vote in the same location. The traffic looked scary, and for once, I wished I could take a seaplane there.

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  • AmrutaFadnavisChristianityMumbaiTwitterDevendraFadnavis Santa’s Open Letter to Amruta Fadnavis’ Trolls

    Dear Indian Troll, I have noticed that you have now found a new target in Amruta Fadnavis. I had to take off your name from the Naughty List, and put you on the Assholes List.

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  • modikaamkibaat Mr Prime Minister, How About Some Kaam Ki Baat?

    In the campaign for Gujarat, all the positive messaging and promise of acche din from 2014 seems to have dissolved. As the PM, it is only fair that you direct the country toward the kind of intelligent debate we deserve.

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  • Ronaldo Can We Please Get Over Ronaldo and Messi?

    The moment the shortlist is announced for football’s Ballon d’Or award, I begin preparing for the Ronaldo-Messi circle-jerk.

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  • Laughter Laughter in the Age of LOL

    Navigating the world of digital laughter requires tact in using “LOL”, “LMAO”, and crying-with-laughter emojis.

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  • WorkfromHome Ghar Wapsi 2.0: The Work from Home Movement

    Working from home is like the time your teacher told you to “read” something for homework. It meant that there was no homework.

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  • MarathonRunners Fantastic Marathoners and Where to Find Them

    As marathon season begins around the country, you’ll realise there are two kinds of people at any such race. There are the Spandex-Fitbit-variety folks who are doing last-minute stretches. And then there is you.

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  • Donkey The Donkey Who Went To Jail Breaks His Silence

    Are monkeys ever arrested for playing with wires and cables? Are crows arrested for shitting on people wearing white shirts to work? This is no country for us “beasts of burden”.

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  • Introvert An Introvert’s Guide to Surviving a Lit AF Party

    Always be the first one to arrive at a party and befriend the guy who comes next. Don’t leave his side. He can do all the talking when confronted with strangers, leaving you free to simply nod in agreement.

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  • ViratKohliTired How Much Cricket is Too Much Cricket?

    Virat Kohli has brought up the issue of how he and his teammates are overworked. When workers are overworked, it’s a labour law issue. In cricket, we call it entertainment.

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  • thanksgivingindia India, There’s A Lot to Give Thanks For

    If Thanksgiving is a day to give thanks for all that we have received, India would be at loss for where to begin. This year, we’ve made significant leaps in the conversation around sexual assault and we didn’t have to suffer another round of demonetisation.

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  • SanjayLeelaBhansali Inside the Mind of Sanjay Leela Bhansali

    It has been a tough few months for the director of Padmavat, as the film readies for release later in January. Sanjay Leela Bhansali was slapped around by the Karni Sena and both the right and the left accused him of distorting history.

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  • 90skids Are the ’90s Kids the Coolest?

    The entire “90s kids” train of nostalgia is designed to make our childhood feel special and unique, while we shit on the children of today. But what Mr Bean is to me, probably Shin Chan is to them.

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  • DemonetisationHaters Shut the Fuck Up, Demonetisation Haters

    Can we just ignore statistics and facts, and look at the good things demonetisation gave us? Post 8/11, the economic literacy in the country shot up overnight, faster than the turnover of Jay Shah’s Temple Enterprises.

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  • AndreaPirlo Farewell, Andrea Pirlo, Mozart of Modern Football

    There are people who are cool, and then there is Andrea Pirlo. We bid goodbye to one of the most effortless and graceful players of all time. A classic vintage car in the world of SUVs and mean machines.

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  • ParadisePapers Understanding Paradise Papers through Stranger Things

    If terms like offshore entities, tax havens, and shell companies stress you out, here’s a Stranger Things analogy to explain what the Paradise Papers are all about.

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  • iPhone Is that the iPhone X, or Are You Just Happy to See Me?

    The new iPhone has hit Indian shelves and it is driving men nuts. They know it’s the only way they will ever have close to six inches in their pants.

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  • AshishNehra Ashish Nehra: The Forever Man of Indian Cricket

    Ashish Nehra will play his last game of international cricket today. Nehra ji has been playing for so long that it feels like he was one of the original dudes who faced the British for teen guna lagaan.

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  • ParentsvsTechnology Kabhi Laptop, Kabhie Phone: It’s All About Teaching Your Parents

    As our parents slowly embrace technology, the children end up becoming the teachers. But, as we all know, children can be real assholes.

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  • Nastik “Hey Ram, My Son’s Nastik!”

    I’m atheist and it bothers my mother. But what worries her more is relatives finding out that I don’t believe in God. After all, log kya kahenge.

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  • longweekend The Story of Every Long Weekend Ever

    The long weekend begins to unleash havoc with the three most dreaded words in holiday history: “Let’s plan something.”

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  • SerialScreenshotter Serial Screenshotter: A New Superhero is Born

    The Serial Screenshotter has one superpower: He takes a hell lot of screenshots. He finds the one thing on the internet that you are not proud of and exposes it. He is the unofficial FBI of the internet.

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  • biggboss Kim Jong-un, Kangana, and KJo Walk into the Bigg Boss House

    Bigg Boss is no fun. I don’t want to spend the next four months watching a house full of, say Pearl Puris (seriously, who is she?). So I drew up my own Bigg Boss Dream Team.

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  • The Anatomy of an Indian Stampede

    There have been stampedes in other parts of the world, but why does it feel like India is an especial victim along the route of this deathly juggernaut?

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  • When You Know You Just Can’t Garba

    I’m a Gujarati boy who sucks at garba. So I try to redeem myself by arranging passes for garba nights, even if that means bartering Sunburn tickets for Falguni Pathak.

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  • WhatsApp Unverified WhatsApp Fwd Karne Wale Tera Mooh Kala

    If there’s something that unites India, it is that people of all ages, castes, religions, and sexes will believe anything that appears in their WhatsApp.

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  • narendramodi Google, Modi, and the Game of Monopoly

    Google, today, is an illustration of the Indian political landscape. The essential flaw that afflicts Google – a complete lack of competition – also shapes our government.

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  • Keyboard Samaritans Save the (Rainy) Day

    Keyboard Samaritans are a breed of people who find their mojo on the day of a tragedy. As Cyclone Ockhi approaches Maharashtra, it’s time for them to come out of the closet.

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  • RighttoPrivacy Right to Privacy? Under Parental Guidance Only

    The Supreme Court may have ruled that privacy is a fundamental right of every citizen, but try telling that to your parents.

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  • Wanted: People for Ethical Treatment of Skinny Folks

    Every time I read about fat-shaming, I think: What about me, who has been labelled “patla papad” and “haddi” all my life? I am not even worth Bollywood’s prejudice.

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  • Oh Prasoon, Our Nation Turns its Hopeful Eyes to You

    As the new CBFC Chief, Mr Joshi, you have a large pair of shoes to fill. You're like the guy replacing Donald Trump. Try not to fuck it up.

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